Let’s imagine you’re getting ready to find out if you got a big, important job, and in the final leg of the grueling interview process, someone asks you to perform roast-style jokes about the person who might get it instead. Oh, and you have to do this the night after you both just made your final case for why they should pick you (or “made” your “case,” as it were). And it’s a party at the Waldorf in white ties and such, so you have to be civil (or “civil,” as it were). And there’s a cardinal sitting between you. That’s the position Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump found themselves in Thursday night. Just one night after the final presidential debate, which got kind of nasty, Trump and Clinton each spoke at the Alfred E. Smith Dinner, which benefits Catholic charities in New York City.
As per the night’s tradition, there was some light presidential roasting involved. And by light roasting, we mean flaying, if you’re the Donald: After his relatively tame set devolved into a series of ever-cruder jokes that resulted in boos (a sample: “Here she is in public, pretending not to hate Catholics”), Clinton took the stage and did to Trump what one does with Trump-brand steaks: She considered a light sear and instead burned him and threw him in the trash. “It’s amazing I’m up here after Donald,” said Clinton. “I didn’t think he’d be okay with a peaceful transition of power.” AW SNAP! Or how about the fact that Trump “sees the Statue of Liberty and sees a four.” WHOA! BELOVED AMERICAN SYMBOL USED TO BURN YA! YA BURNT, DONNIE! Check out the full speeches for both candidates below; Mr. Trump starts hearing boos in his around the 12-minute mark.