Sure, Tom Hanks's Saturday Night Live paternal monologue might be addressing the nation as a whole and not just you specifically, but c'mon, are you really going to get snippy with America's #1 dad? Look at him! He's wearing a tasteful fisherman's cardigan while spewing out niceties like, "You okay with money?" and "People don't understand how hard it is to be you." You're the eighth wonder of the world, Tom. Never change.
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