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Quiz: Which TV Ted Danson Said It?

By , a staff writer covering classic rock and TV
Photo-Illustration: Kelly Chiello and Photos by Getty Images, HBO, NBC

Ted Danson has cemented his national-treasure status over the past few decades, where he’s found footing in both comedic and dramatic roles on TV. On Danson’s half-hour comedies in particular, he has a tendency to play womanizing, egotistical, quirky characters, all known for their great one liners. But if you were given a quote that was said by Cheers’ Sam Malone, Bored to Death’s George Christopher, The Good Place’s Michael, or Curb Your Enthusiasm’s fictionalized Ted Danson, would you be able to tell their musings apart from one another? Go ahead and prove your inner Dansonhead by trying your luck in the quiz below.

Which Ted Danson said it?

“What's a Subaru?”
“When you give someone a gift, it’s supposed to be a gift, not a problem.”
“I’m not a sad guy. I’m a happy, horny guy.”
“I told her to be less flirty and now she's cruel and distant, apparently."
“The best positive thinking in life is thinking of others.”
“What is sable?”
“I'd love to make small talk … I've been practicing, too.”
“I will ripple them into submission.”
“I don't procrastinate. I just like to do things later.”
“Tonight, I'm going to select my jauntiest suit,  and I may even wear suspenders.”
“When the lights go out, everybody is the same age  and nobody is lonely.”
“You’re a giant chunk of spinach in the teeth of the universe.”
“Okay, we both need to do better with our positive thinking.”
“Everyone, it’s merely a construct of a dog.”
“A meal is something you eat. It's not something  you name your kid.”
“Five years old, and she can spell asshole.”
“My feet feel really interesting in my shoes.”
“I'm a canyon full of pooh-pooh.”

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Quiz: Which Ted Danson TV Character Said It?