Look, before we start: Yes, Saved by the Bell’s Kelly Kapowski (Tiffani Thiessen) and Zack Morris (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) are a classic couple, so, no, nothing can ever truly break that bond, no matter what. But as we all know, everything ends. Let us not be sad when we consider that the show’s executive producer Peter Engel told Entertainment Weekly that he believes Kelly and Zack would likely be divorced by now. No, let’s be like the Bayside gang after their summer working at the beach house and just cherish our memories, okay? And look, is Engel, who wrote a recent Saved by the Bell memoir (yes, the one that revealed that Jessie Spano’s study-drug of choice was supposed to be speed, not caffeine pills) just succumbing to the statistical probability that most marriages between high-school sweethearts from the ’90s are over by now? Probably.
But remember: Choosing the fates of fictional married couples is not solely the domain of TV producers. You can do it, too! Go ahead and imagine a universe where “Zack,” who needs to eat 3,000 calories a day for his new, ahem, gig, and “Kelly,” who has her own cooking show, might be sustaining their marriage with food and love to this very day. That’s your prerogative, along with the right to agree with Engel when he says that Screech would be Bill Gates by now.