The Best Frozen Moments From the 2017 Golden Globes
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Golden Globes 2017 Frozen Moments

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That feeling when you're a human (and definitely not a golden retriever that somehow found its consciousness trapped inside a human's body years ago) and you just love sticking your head out the window to feel the wind on your fur – ah sorry, skin, it's skin, not fur, skin, regular ol' human man skin.

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Damn, you must be tired ... from running through my mind all day ... killing the ice demons that crawl around in there, telling me to steal babies and leave them in the snow.

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Westworld /

Meet the Westworld /

They're the modern cowboy fantasy /

From the /

Town of Westworld /

They're a page right out of laboratory

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"You think they're still mad at us for hacking the DNC emails?"

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"I'm a sneaky little baby devil. Gimme your candy or I'll poke you with a stick!"

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"Have you reached a verdict?" "Yes, your honor." "And what is your verdict?" "Guilty, also the glove thing was a good idea."

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"I hope I don’t wake up from the coma I've been in since I fell into that icy, icy pond on the set of Snow Dogs soon. This dream's just getting good."

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Meryl and her husband have a fairly classic relationship. She brings him to award shows and he follows her around picking lint off her dress, as if he were a mother monkey eating lice out of her babies' hair. He has to eat the lint.

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Wait, am I Ryan Gosling?

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Yeah, I'm Ryan Gosling.

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Matt, Matt, Matt. Look, it's Big Bang Theory. Bazinga, Matt. It's Big Bang Theory. Bazinga, Matt. Matt. Matt, Bazinga. Bazinga! Who's going to pay for all the movies about blue-collar Bostonians you want to make because part of you is still trying to impress the bullies from high school who made fun of you for getting into Harvard, Matt? Thought so. So, I'll say it again. Bazinga! There we go, now we're laughing.

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"Okay, so Ryan Gosling said 'No.'" 

"Well, just go down that list organized by first name."

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Before you say it was pretty rude of Michael Shannon to wear his sunglasses inside, know that NBC asked him to until 10 p.m., so it would be easier for parents to put their kids to sleep.

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"Let me smell your hair for good luck."

"You're always smelling my hair for 'good luck.' Just admit you like smelling hair."

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Jason Schwartzman is still thinking of that ukulele the ocean current took away. It was a gift from his barber – a large bowl.

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"Okay, Negan. What's a cool, subtle way to dress that says I'm classy but also a bad little boy?"

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It's never revealed who is giving Bryan Cranston that massage, but you just know they're looking for meth.

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"So, Eminem I was telling —"

"Hate to interrupt, but I'm not Eminem. I'm Michelle Williams."

"From Beyoncé presents Destiny's Child?"

"No, the other one. I've been nominated for three Oscars."

"Three?! Oh, my. And that's something you tell people?"

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"Can I smell your flower?"

"Why is everyone saying that this evening?"

"Fine. Can I rest my head on your chest and then you do that thing where you bounce your pec muscles so it'll feel like my head is being rocked to sleep by two smooth slabs?"

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"Take that, Transparent table. Who's making comedy about gender expectations now?!"

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Donald Glover is walking right by me ... Maybe ... I ... shouldn't be tweeting. And send. Nailed it, Jake.

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That feeling when you campaigned to be prom queen and now no one really wants to sign your yearbook, because, like, we've already done enough for you.

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When it's the final scene of the school play and the jock – who somehow got the lead role, ugh – wears glasses to show that time his character is old now.

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Chrissy is all of us. No, seriously. She is the embodiment of the collective consciousness, of God as the sense of oneness and connectivity to the universe. When we die, we all rejoin her like rainwater to the sea.

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"Your name is Amy. My name is Amy, too. Amy Schumer."

"That's so funny. You should be a comedian."

"... I am ..."

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After they presented an award, Reese climbed into Nicole's pouch, and Nicole hopped off.

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JLD: Julia loves discs.

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[Extreme Jack Nicholson voice]

"Jack Nicholson impressions are easyyyyyy."

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[To the tune of "Roxanne"]

Pink dress

You look like when the Carvel employee is making strawberry soft-serve but zones out for a second because he's thinking about what college will be like and it overflows into a cascade of swirls to-night

Those days are over

I'm going to hold the envelope like a football

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"How dare you shove that modern technology in my face. The only technology I care about is a little brush hitting a cymbal — tiht-tiht-tiht-tah, tiht-tiht-tiht-tah. And the sound of the trumpet blaring — bip-buh-bip-beep-beep-beep. Here comes ol' daddy baritone sax – dum-dum-waaaaaah, dum-dum-dum-waaaaaah..."

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Close-up on a purse zooming through the air.

Cut to Annette Bening.

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How many white people called it Hidden Fences tonight? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Ten!!!!

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To be fair, this is the first time Viola has had to climb through a crowd, as the world parts for her.

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Out of respect to Viola, Denzel did his famous impression of an old wise turtle.

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"She's obviously an American agent pretending to be Australian, Philip. What kind of alias is 'Kidman,' anyway? Kid. Man. Was she just looking around a park when she picked it?"

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"Let's rub our beards together real fast while Ryan watches."

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That feeling when you kiss your best friend on the mouth at the after-party after you win an Oscar while you're still in your 20s and you still lick the spot to remind yourself what young love tastes like.

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[Pulls suspenders]

Now, I'm no big-city gynecologist, but literally everyone instantly started ovulating when this happened.

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"Remember this moment, kids, because eventually someone is going to pay you to write a memoir and it's so hard. There are so many words and you can't sing any of them."

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"Your fly is down."

"Your fly is down."

"And we ..."

"Are ..."

"The ..."

[In unison] "The flies down friends!"

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Oh, to be a fly on the wall of this conversation and to hear the most passive-aggressive compliments squeezed through clenched jaws. Or, "Good luck at the Oscars, bitch."

"I am a pregnant Israeli. I literally have no fear."

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"Honey, I can't tell. Is this man white?"

"Feel the sides of his head, and you'll know."

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Here's to the ones who dream. Foolish as they may seem.

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Here's to the hearts that ache.

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Here's to the mess we make.

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That thing where a submarine is going deeper than it's supposed to and the crew doesn't know how it will handle the pressure, and one guy is shouting out the depth, and like, a random screw flies off. That is what the jacket seams around Chris Hemsworth's biceps were like last night.

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"So, if I'm getting this right, Tom is saying he's good and Africa is bad?"

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"I was a big fan of that whole 'hashtag Oscar all right' thing from last year."

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When you're the prime minister and you love the queen and also you're picturing six kittens running after an undersize tennis ball and they all jump for it at the same time, so they just bang into each other, and they all miss it and the ball slowly rolls out of the pile and they are all confused because they are little babies, so the mom saunters over and slightly nudges the ball back toward the kittens and they're off again ...

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I've got sunshine ...

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On a cloudy day ...

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When it's cold outside ...

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I've got the month of May ...

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Well, I guess you'll say ...

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What can make me feel this way?

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Talkin' 'bout ... Meeeeeeeeryl!

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"Yes, yes, American president bad."

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"What was that joke you were saying again?" "If it's set in Boston, why is it called Manchester by the Sea?"

"That's what I said!"

"And that's why we are famously best friends."

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"So, what do you know about cybercrime?"

"You know, I was just playing a part. So are you. We are actors."

"Come on, man. I'm desperate."

"Umm, 'No computer chip, you must equi...p?"

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When you have an audition to play Old Deuteronomy but no one told you that they use makeup and prosthetics in the show.

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When your parents drag you to this boring "wedding," where you have to wear stupid clothes, and they play stupid music, and people give boring speeches, but then the MC announces the ice cream sundae bar is open.

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Paper Boi's all about that gold now.

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The Edge of Seventeen vs. the Edge of falling asleep.

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When your rabbi is trying to connect with the under-50 crowd, so he tries to quote Denzel, and Denzel is ...

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Cool with it!

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"Hello, I am Jeff Bezos and not a clone of Jeff Bezos sent here because Jeff Bezos, who is I, finds movie stars rich but not rich enough to be trapped in a room with."

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"Everyone clap for yourselves for being so progressive and then keep on refreshing Twitter to see if Donald Trump said anything about us."


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