Ain’t no party like a Don Lemon party, because a Don Lemon party is broadcast to every home in the nation. CNN’s Don Lemon had the absolute time of his life during the network’s New Year’s Eve coverage last night, though he did manage to do the three things you should never do on live television: take tequila shots, open up about your earnest desire for romantic love and, of course, take advice from Kathy Griffin. Don also climbed on the bar of New Orleans’s the Spotted Cat and screamed as a piece of metal was jammed through his ear lobe, rounding out the top five. Still, who hasn’t done all of those things and more within one four-hour window on New Year’s Eve? Aren’t we all just a bunch of Don Lemons, messy and screaming and looking for love, the only difference being we are not all currently on live television? On a related note, Lemon’s co-host Brooke Baldwin deserves a Pulitzer for her increasingly horrified off-camera glances, a Pulitzer that she can share with whatever producer was standing there, trying to stifle a heart attack.