Guy Fieri’s ears are burning, and it’s not just because he got hair bleach all over them. If you were Leslie Jones and found yourself at a New Year’s Eve party with Guy Fieri, Mayor Bill de Blasio, James Spader, the Verzion turned Sprint “Can you hear me now?” guy, and the fictional Game of Thrones character Jon Snow, congratulations. How do you think that happened? Did you slip between the layers of space-time and end up at Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar? Once you psychologically came to terms with this reality-violating fete, who, then, would you choose to smooch at midnight? That is correct. You’d go with the obvious answer: anyone but the Verizon turned Sprint guy, who has no loyalty in his heart and is a traitor down to his very soul. Brand-wise, anyway.