Before he was able to emotionally torture aspiring drummers or stroll around Gotham City with the confidence of a young Sam Spade, J.K. Simmons was just your average aspiring actor in the Pacific Northwest trying to make a living. As the acting opportunities weren’t exactly too abundant in the booming metropolis of Seattle, Simmons had to indulge in various odd jobs to pay the bills, none more so than the delightfully named “tutu-grams” that have since plagued his memory with a sliver of embarrassment. And what a job it was! Required to be clad in a short pastel tutu and opera mask, Simmons and his fellow bearded “mountain-y looking dudes” had the pleasure of delivering telegrams as falsetto tunes all over the city. Too chic.