Tonight, comedian Patton Oswalt and his full glass of Scotch hosted the Writers Guild West Awards ceremony, greeting everyone with, “Hello, alcoholic shut-ins!” Though Patton’s opening monologue was aimed at Trump and his administration (like when he said Ben Carson uses “La La Land” as a euphemism for “vagina”), Patton said he’d go easy on Trump “because I don’t want to be kicked to death by James Woods backstage.” It was then that Woods, one of Hollywood’s most outspoken right-wingers, yelled, “Buy a pair of shoes!” Woods then ran onstage and took off one of Oswalt’s (okay, kind of ugly, but we love you, Patton) black sneakers and yelled, “Didn’t you see Crazy, Wonderful Love, or whatever it was called? Get some shoes!”
It was called Crazy, Stupid, Love, James Woods. And yes, Ryan Gosling helps Steve Carell buy less ugly shoes, but there’s no way Patton is the Steve Carell to your Ryan Gosling! If anything he’s the Gosling! (Okay, okay, no one is the Gosling.) Watch the full video of Patton’s monologue above. The shoe stuff starts around 3:47. And Patton swears it was not staged.