Hold your tuna-fish sandwich tight and hope for the best as you listen to Zach Galifianakis read “Next Big Thing” by Butthole Surfers singer Gibby Haynes. The brief tale is made approximately one 1,000 more horrifying by Galifianakis’s foreboding delivery and the video’s ominous music. Illustrated by artist Daniel Anum Jasper, the video was made as a part of the upcoming book Stories for Ways and Means, which will feature original stories by musicians like Tom Waits, Nick Cave, Kathleen Hanna, and the Pixies’ Frank Black, with accompanying videos featuring voice-over by the likes of Danny DeVito and Nick Offerman. Proceeds from the project will go to Room to Read, Pencils of Promise, 826 National, and other children-focused nonprofits. Galifianakis’s narration ends before the finale of the story, but if the chills running up your spine are any indication, Oscar and his dog Krypto are about to get their asses kicked on that bridge in a terrifically spooky manner.