On Monday, like several presidents before him, Donald Trump attended the annual Boy Scout Jamboree where he gave a speech to the troops. Unlike his predecessors, who generally focused on the importance of service and leadership, however, POTUS offered the 24,000 boys ages 12 to 17 an unfocused raucous campaign rally and an anecdote about a real-estate developer’s sex yacht. After watching the speech, Stephen Colbert realized that it might be time to update the traditional scout oath to reflect the values of the commander-in-chief, who also happens to be the “honorary president” of the Boy Scouts of America. In this version the old promise “to help other people at all times” has been replaced with some tremendous monetary goals.
