Please Don’t Let Katy Perry Near the Space Jam Sequel

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Katy Perry’s “Swish Swish” is a thinly veiled response to Taylor Swift’s “Bad Blood” that labels her enemy a wolf in sheep’s clothing. For its video, however — conveniently dropped on the day Swift plans to finish her — Perry has chosen humor over more shade. This video has it all: Terry Crews, Molly Shannon, Stranger Things’ Gaten Matarazzo, the Mountain from Game of Thrones, like half the cast of GLOW, and every reason to keep Katy Perry’s paws off the Space Jam sequel we’re already iffy about. Here, Perry and her goofy team of misfits (“the Tigers”) take on the considerably larger, athletic “Sheep” in an admittedly “unwatchable, eye-gouging” showdown on the court. It’s just mind-bending enough to defy gravity (indeed, Perry floats off into space while attempting a dunk). Try as Nicki Minaj desperately does, no halftime pep talk could salvage any of this. But if an IV drip administering Kobe’s sweat just so happens to become the new “Michael’s Secret Stuff” in Space Jam 2, maybe it’ll all have been worth it.

Watch Katy Perry Remake Space Jam in Her ‘Swish Swish’ Video