If There Is a God, Tiffany Haddish Will Get to Garden With Oprah

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Are your crops watered? Are your weeds pulled? Fear not, Tiffany Haddish and Oprah got you. Capping off her breakout year, Haddish got to celebrate her birthday on Ellen, where she revealed her greatest wish in to life. Yes, she’d like to rent a Tesla and some diamonds, but better than anything money can buy, she dreams of going into the gardening business with Oprah. She’s got it all figured out: She and auntie O, which is what you call Oprah when you’re black royalty but also respect your elders, will launch a traveling co-op that hits all the farmers’ markets. It’ll be called Tiff and O’s Vegetables and, obviously, Michelle Obama will be their top investor. Also, Haddish’s specialty will be her joyful collard greens, which she cultivates with the power of smiling. Taylor Swift, who allegedly makes bomb cornbread, has tried them and approves. An opinion you can trust!

Tiffany Haddish Dreams of Gardening With Oprah