In a Twitter thread that started today with someone posing the brutal question of whether you would save baby Groot or a Porg if forced to choose, Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn dropped in to reveal a surprising truth about the most popular anthropomorphic tree in cinema today. Gunn responded to the thread by saying it was an easy choice: You protect the advanced life form “who saved all life in the universe” and let the “big-eyed pigeon” die. Another Twitter user jumped in to add what most of us — until this afternoon — would consider a sound argument in favor of the Porgs, pointing out to Gunn that, “You can grow Groot back, as evidenced in your film. Once you kill a porg, it’s gone.” That’s when the director opened the cargo bay doors on his kiloton truth bomb.
Like so many of us, Ash Crossen (who posed the original Groot v. Porg question), was surprised to hear this news.
While Jennifer C. Martin likened Gunn’s reveal to J.K. Rowling’s tendency to make cannononical declarations after the fact.
But Gunn came prepared to debate.
And before you ask, no, baby Groot did not carry the memories of original Groot in his Floral Colossus DNA.
Adults arguing on Twitter about the reproductive nature and biological connections between extraterrestrial tree beings — what a time to be alive.