Does Michael B. Jordan Have to Keep Buying Sweaters Because His Arms Destroy Each One?

Michael B. Jordan. Photo: lupitanyongo/Instagram

During the course of Lupita Nyong’o and Michael B. Jordan’s Black Panther press tour flirtationship, something has come to our attention: MBJ must go through a lot of sweaters. Like, a lot — more than scarves worn by Darren Aronofsky, more than tracksuits worn by Armie Hammer, more than wine glasses used by Rihanna. With arms this bulbous, the life cycle of even the most luxurious sweater seems to rise and set at a rapid pace. After one wear, does the sweater just give up? Does it take up residence in a girlfriend’s (ahem) closet? Does it go on to house a small family? Take a closer look at this video of Michael B. Jordan behind the scenes of The View:

First and foremost, Jordan has impeccable sweater taste, never prioritizing cute over comfy. Michael B. Jordan does not wear sweaters like you and I wear sweaters. He has biceps, pecs, and abs to keep warm! See how exactly he pulls at the sweater’s hem, taking care to keep it perfectly in place? That’s a full-time job, deserving of at least 27 Oscars!

So that’s one sweater completely ruined. (Vulture dot com volunteers to take it off of MBJ’s hands.) And here’s another: The first time Nyong’o demands an on-the-spot push-up from her Black Panther co-star, she does it at the expense of a striking royal-blue and candy-apple-red striped sweater:

“There’s some room right here,” someone off camera says as Jordan looks around for a spot to perform his push-up. Here, yes; in that sweater, no.

Perhaps Michael B. Jordan is just into a tighter sleeve. Fair enough. But maybe it’s that, by divine ordinance, Michael B. Jordan is simply too good for us and whatever sartorial options other regular humans have to offer. Have you ever seen Michael B. Jordan wear a sweater twice? Probably not! Because there’s no way for a sweater to ever recompose itself!

The Michael B. Jordan–wearing–sweater beat is one we have decided to keep an eye on.

Let’s Take a Moment to Discuss Michael B. Jordan’s Sweaters