Someone. Please. Help. April. It has to happen soon, right? Over the past few episodes, Dark April’s descent has only gotten darker and much more public. Jackson can tell something is really wrong, but it may take more than Jackson Avery to save April.
After April basically forces her way into leading the intern trauma certification, Owen, distracted with Amelia things, lets her do what she wants. Even when she yells in the faces of all the interns, makes it rain with a hose just to up the ante, causes Glasses to weep, and tells them all that there are no rules and everyone dies because life is chaos and nothing matters. You know, April’s usual mantra these days. The interns try to get rid of her — she’s the one endangering their dummy patients — by having her paged to a made-up emergency, but when April returns, she is even worse. She spirals right in front of them, screaming about everything that’s happened to her while going to town doing chest compressions on an innocent dummy. DeLuca has to physically stop her. He’s concerned, and all of the interns are stunned.
April looks devastatingly disheveled when she runs into Jackson, who finally pulls her aside to find out what is going on. He is her friend, he wants to help her! But she’ll only take his help in the form of a supply-closet make-out sesh. When he stops her and tells her she needs to talk to him, well, April doesn’t want that kind of help. This girl is gone, you guys. I’m 92 percent sure they’re going to kill April off, so is this just the beginning of her descent into something much worse, or will she find her faith again and then die? Which is worse, you guys? WHICH IS WORSE?
Jackson is doing what he can, but the guy has a lot on his mind. Yes, folks, the day is here: Jackson and Maggie are officially seeing each other. Like, making out in the hospital now. As promised by the promo department, Catherine and Richard catch them in the act, which makes the fact that Jackson has his big Innovation Contest vaginoplasty surgery with Catherine and Richard that day all the more awkward. But you know what makes it the most awkward? Maggie walking away by telling Catherine, “Good luck with your vagina!” That is the World’s Most Awkward.
Richard seems pretty cool with the big news, but Catherine is making snide remarks around Jackson any chance she can. She is decidedly not cool with the news.
Someone else who’s also not cool with things? Their patient, Dr. Michelle Velez. This is Michelle’s big day! Her life is about to change! She is finally getting her vagina, y’all! But not only is she an excited patient, she is also a world-class surgeon, and she will not have Jackson and Catherine distracted on this day. And she means that, you guys. While Michelle is on the operating table, she can hear Jackson and Catherine bickering as they scrub in — so Michelle walks out.
After a delightful little scene in which Webber tells Catherine that she is being ridiculous because any mother would be beyond thrilled to have the brilliant, kind Maggie Pierce dating her son (while also threatening Jackson’s life if he ever dare hurt said brilliant, kind Maggie Pierce), Catherine comes clean.
Catherine tells Jackson that of course she knows Maggie is wonderful, and of course she wants Jackson to find love — she just doesn’t want to pay for it with her own relationship. She is scared that if something goes wrong between Jackson and Maggie, it will drive a wedge between her and Richard, and she simply cannot lose the man who shook open the nailed-shut door to her heart. It is such a wonderful, honest scene and a reminder of how important the Richard-and-Catherine relationship is. Jackson seems genuinely moved by his mother’s admission, and he reminds her that Richard isn’t like Jackson’s father — he is a gazillion times better than that guy. Okay, those are my numbers, but I’m pretty sure the math checks out.
The mother-son-Webber team rocks the surgery, obviously, and Jackson tells his mother that she has his blessing to take Maggie’s side whenever she needs to keep the peace in her relationship. He also admits that he really, really likes Maggie. This is happening, people.
Well, technically, it isn’t happening that night. Jackson and Maggie are supposed to go out to dinner and finally sleep together, but plans change when Jackson needs to take Harriet for April. Honestly, it’s a good move because April really shouldn’t be left alone with that baby right now.
Speaking of children: Remember how Sofia decided she wanted to live with Arizona and then we never saw her again? Well, Sofia is back! She’s feeling very homesick for New York, so to cheer her up, Arizona decides to bring her young daughter to work. At a hospital once referred to as Seattle Grace Mercy Death. Hasn’t this kid suffered enough?
The Take Your Daughter to Work Day starts out fine. Arizona is working on a young, single mother named Liz who has Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, which puts her 23-week pregnancy at risk. As if that isn’t scary enough, while Liz’s older son Noah plays with Sofia, Arizona notices him laughing a lot. Cute, right? No. She thinks it is a sign Noah may be having gelastic seizures.
Damn Arizona for being so good at her job! She has Amelia and Alex give Noah an MRI and they find a tumor near his brainstem that is causing the laughing seizures. Of course this happens just as Liz goes into premature labor and has to be rushed into the OR. Good news: Arizona is able to stop the contractions. Bad news: As Liz is recovering, Alex and Amelia tell Arizona that Noah’s tumor is inoperable. Very Scary But Potentially Life-Saving News: They also tell Arizona that Noah is a good candidate for the ultrasound tumor buster (not the scientific name) they’ve been working on for Kimmie. They haven’t tested it on a human yet, so it is extremely risky — but it might be the only shot Noah has. Well, this story is super-fun and definitely won’t end with me sobbing into my sofa.
As a reminder, Sofia has been around this ALL DAY. The kid is actually very empathetic and has great bedside manner, which isn’t that surprising since she was basically born from the ashes of trauma (and ill-conceived musicals!). As Arizona tucks her daughter into bed, Sofia notices her mom tearing up. Is she sad about Noah? No, Arizona tells her daughter that she’s tearing up because she is so lucky to have such a healthy, beautiful daughter. Okay, Arizona is definitely moving to New York with Sofia, right?
Laughter Is the Best Medicine, Except for Real Medicine
• You think you can’t love Miranda Bailey any more, but then you dive deeper into her nerdiness and find out she is super into astronauts and space and your heart almost bursts. Of course, Bailey’s time with her favorite astronaut ends sadly, with Astronaut Marjorie dying during surgery, but Marjorie’s bonkers attempt to build a time machine (it’s a thing) leaves Bailey feeling inspired. Marjorie wasn’t a woman who said “maybe,” not “no,” and that opened up a world of possibilities.
• I know Bailey had her own episode not too long ago, but I need more Bailey in my life. The hospital needs her. We all need her.
• Jo learns a lot about wormholes and time travel and ultimately it pushes her to not let Meredith give up on the mini-livers. Meredith should not be allowing the past to affect her future like this. Ellis sure wouldn’t. Meredith is back in on the project, Marie Cerone be damned!
• How about Alex Karev with all the cheesy dad jokes? Serious question: Are they putting Alex and Amelia together on cases so much to soften the blow when Arizona leaves? It isn’t working.
• I am not here for Owen and Amelia arguing about who is to blame for their marriage not working (Amelia is), but I am here for it leading to someone finally telling Owen that he is in love with Teddy. Go to her, Owen! GO TO HER. (He is!)
• “Is my face saying something?” “It’s like reading Hemingway, dear.” Oh, Richard Webber, you are a gentleman and a scholar.
Sob Scale: 2/10
I cannot see this Liz-Noah thing ending without some tears.