Listen, it’s not like Stephen Colbert is mourning the loss of Cosmopolitan not being readily available anymore at Walmart check-out lines. He understands that musings about anal sex might be too sexy for the Walmart crowd, really! (We suggest picking up a New Yorker instead to fill that erotic check-out void — oof, those BEK cartoons, amirite?!) But Colbert just can’t get past that fact that, compared to other publications being churned out this month, Cosmo feels unusually tame. “Walmart doesn’t approve of sexy magazines, just gun magazines,” he quipped. “They also have to remove all of the newspapers, because for some reason, there’s a lot of porn stars on the front page.” Cosmo, you’d be foolish not to make Stormy Daniels your next cover girl. Think on it.