John Cena Responds to the Rock’s Threats, Welcomes an Ass-Cleaning

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John Cena and Dwayne Johnson used to smoosh against each other as rivals in the WWE, but did you know they’re actually super-chummy friends now? It’s cute! Besides, Johnson has other beef to deal with! But this budding friendship took a turn when Johnson appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! two nights ago and decided to … we’re not exactly sure … threaten Cena’s ass with a good toothbrush cleaning if he ever spoke out of turn? We guess it’s classic wrestler-turned-thespian stuff? So of course Cena responded while he was on Kimmel last night. Prepare yourself for 60 seconds of bewildering monologuing.

“There’s been a funnel up there. There’s been a parking cone. There’s more traffic in that region than a Monday on the 405 in both directions,” Cena growled, referring to his behind. “Your threat to me is you wanna clean my butt? Um, okay pal, you got the job, but if I was you I’d bring a body suit and latex gloves because down there it’s like a Mississippi cornfield in a downpour. It’s just all mud and vegetation, pal.” Yeah, pal, you should totally think before you speak, pal.

John Cena Welcomes an Ass-Cleaning From the Rock