Not everyone can be a Broadway double threat, much to the chagrin of Tina Fey. See, she tried. She really tried! She wants to act in her Mean Girls musical, but when she’s demoted from Regina George to Gretchen Wieners to North Shore High School mascot, she soon realizes that not everyone can pull off being Hamilton’s Lin-Manuel Miranda. “Maybe it’s okay if I can’t be like Lin-Manuel,” she muses, “and jam myself into my show whether people like it or not.” If only he didn’t get wind of Fey’s 2018 fugly slut-adjacent comments and break out his very own Burn Book for a venting session: “Lemme tell you about this tiny-headed bitch named Tina!!!!” Damn, Mr. Hamilton.