I love Charlie Puth’s new album, Voicenotes. At first I was a casual Charlie Puth fan, sneaking “We Don’t Talk Anymore” into my party playlists, or listening to “Attention” on my walk from the J train. But now I am a Charlie Puth evangelist, sharing all of his good works: listening to “LA Girls” makes me feel like Leo DiCaprio, “BOY” is like if Diane Keaton (rightly) ended up with Keanu Reeves at the end of Something’s Gotta Give, “Empty Cups” makes me want to drink a discount bottle of Malbec out of a Solo cup and dance all night. This is good, wholesome pop music, and it is the season for it!
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a pop star in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a single, unifying name for his stans. Rihanna has her Navy, Bebe Rexha has her Rexhars, Selena Gomez has her Selenators, and Charlie Puth has his … what, exactly? What Puth fans are called, I’m not quite sure. I’ve launched an official investigation into this matter, issuing several social media callouts:
Here’s what I have gathered so far:
— A source who wishes to remain anonymous claims Puth fans call themselves “‘Puthers’ or ‘Truth Puths.’”
“Puthers” seems to be the general consensus here — along with “Puthinators,” which is popular among Instagram Puth fans — but it turns out that Charlie isn’t keen on either. In an interview with “Weekend Throwdown,” he suggested “Charlie’s Angels.”
When I reached out to Puth’s label, a rep told me Charlie “hasn’t totally figured out” a name for us yet. Until that day comes — Call me by your [Charlie’s preferred designation] and I call you by mine! — I have a few ideas:
“Charlie’s Angels” is Charlie-approved, but Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu, and that one scene of Sam Rockwell dancing will have ownership over anything and everything related to Charlie’s Angels from now until the end of the time (or at least until Hollywood provides a suitable reboot), so “Charlie’s Angels” is an unlikely moniker for us. Also, Charli XCX’s fans are already called “Angels.”
“Puther Love Girls”
Justin Timberlake’s Man of the Woods wasn’t up to snuff, so it is within our rights to take custody of his 20/20 song “Pusher Love Girl.” Could it be appropriated to suit Puth’s fandom? Sure “Puther Love Girls” is gendered, but it is a declaration! While JT chops wood and wears flannel, a new, appropriately dressed prince of pop has arrived and his name is Charles Otto Puth Jr.!
During my investigation (Googling) it came to my attention that Charlie Puth’s middle name is Otto. For your consideration: Otto-Bahns, a play on the Autobahn, Germany’s world-famous highway system. It’s a stretch (heh), but Charlie Puth fans live life in the fast lane. I’m speaking from personal experience as someone who lives life in the fast lane — I walk very fast — and happen to be a big Charlie Puth fan.
This one came to me early one morning as I typed in #puther on Instagram, curious what I might stumble upon. Instagram’s search bar auto-completed “#putherfirst,” “#puthertosleep,” “#puthertowork,” and “#putheronthebus,” before I realized these hashtags all meant “put her,” not “Puther.” Fair. But “Puther First” has a nice ring to it since Charlie Puth’s fans put Charlie Puth first, and Charlie Puth’s music puts ladies first. (Except for “How Long,” which is definitely about him cheating on a girlfriend and not even apologizing for it.)
Voicenotes is named after the iPhone app Voice Memo, which is what Charlie uses to record song ideas as they come to him. “Notetakers,” take out your spiral notebooks mechanical pencils because class is in session.
Puth’s gaze darts toward the entrance of the Hotel Bel-Air, where we — and, apparently, Lopez and Alex Rodriguez — have come for lunch. “I love J.Lo, but I don’t give a shit.” Puth’s driver, an elderly man named Bela, whisked us here after Puth declared “I’m hungies!” Now, Puth zeroes in on his meal: two plates of hamachi sashimi, black truffle-dusted roast chicken and some charred broccolini he dutifully munches to satisfy Pasternak, his trainer. “Oh, my God, I care more about the truffles on my chicken. Fucking delicious.”
“What are you doing to me, what are you doing love!”
“Puth Puth Pass”
Like “puff puff pass,” but replacing “puff” with “Puth.” It’s kind of a play on words. As in, “‘How Long’ is so good I might Puth Puth Pass-out.’” Thank you for your time.