food

Nothing Is More American Than Simpsons Writer Bill Oakley’s Fast Food Reviews

Bill Oakley.

Bill Oakley is best known for writing on shows like The Simpsons, Mission Hill, and Portlandia, but on top of his work in the comedy world, Oakley has also carved out a role for himself as the preeminent fast-food critic of 2018. Since early May, Oakley has transformed his Instagram account into a comprehensive fast-food review haven. If you’re looking for an expert to turn to when deciding your next massive burger calorie overdose, you can count on an honest and nuanced opinion from the creator of “Steamed Hams.”

So why did he start doing this? Oakley says he first posted a McDonald’s review in May as a follow-up to his angry 2015 Twitter rant against the company, but it was so popular that he decided to keep going. “Now I am chasing the dream of being an Instagram creep with 900,000 followers and DJing at a Vegas club and having my own line of Steamed Hams Premium Vodka,” he told Vulture. When asked if his body feels terrible due to eating so much fast food so consistently, he said, “This is no different than my usual diet and in fact may be a slight improvement. That’s why I can speak about these foods with sincerity — because I’d be eating them anyway. Also I go to the gym every day, so that has a healthful effect, I guess.”

With that, here are some of the reviews Oakley has posted so far, including his take on McDonald’s new fresh beef burgers:

KFC’s Crispy Colonel sandwich:

Wendy’s Southwest Avocado Chicken Sandwich:

Burger King’s new King’s Meal Deal (this one doubles as a review of the hit new movie Book Club):

White Castle (featuring a big celebrity cameo):

A fake new item at Taco Bell:

A real new item at Taco Bell:

Arby’s (and a great explanation for why it gets so much ridicule):

After Oakley read that Freddy’s is “the best burger chain you’ve never heard of,” he had to try it out for himself:

When IHOP did that publicity stunt rebranding as “IHOB,” Oakley went in to see if the burgers lived up to the hype (his kids make a special appearance in this one):

In addition to the fast-food chains, Oakley has also reviewed food like Alaska Airlines’ automatic pancake machine, Guy Fieri’s Vegas Kitchen, and a bologna, mustard, and peanut-butter sandwich. He’s even branched out to reviewing non-food items, so if you want to know what a Simpsons writer thinks of a Simpsons slot machine in Las Vegas, head over to Oakley’s Instagram to check it out.

A Former Simpsons Writer’s Comprehensive Fast-Food Reviews