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Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood Recap: Bad Kid, W.O.R.S.E. City

Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood

True Hollywood Story
Season 5 Episode 9
Editor’s Rating *****

Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood

True Hollywood Story
Season 5 Episode 9
Editor’s Rating *****
Photo: VH1

I don’t know what I think about Brooke Valentine. On the one hand she has very pretty hair, on the other hand… I don’t have anything nice to say about her. We start this episode with Teairra Mari and Brooke meeting at a pond (?) like they’re extras in the Mary Poppins Returns trailer. Teairra is throwing bread in the water despite there being no ducks and I’d just like to note that this is every bad for the environment. It breeds bacteria that make animals sick, although, again I feel compelled to mention there are no animals within ten miles of this man-made body of water. Together, Brooke and Teairra discuss Akbar, and the mixed messages Teairra was sending by hanging out with him after the revenge porn was leaked.

Teairra explains that she was still confused about the situation and, at the time, she was choosing to believe his lies. This is enough an explanation for me because I am not a horrible person that blames victims. Unfortunately, Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood reflects our current political climate where men are accused of wrongdoing and the women who accuse them are blamed, shamed, and defamed. It’s apparent from this episode that we still have not made as much progress in trusting women as we’d like to think. However, I do appreciate Brooke’s eagerness to attend Teairra’s press conference in support of her. Maybe she’s not such a bad person …

In some empty event hall across town, Bridget performs at her album-release party. She’s been in the music industry for over ten years and she finally has a full album to show for it. I respect her tenacity and hustle and I also think she has a great voice. At this social gathering full of mostly background extras, Bridget invites the ladies to London for her radio tour. Nothing brings drama like a televised vacation, so I am beyond excited to see these women Locked Up Abroad™ together. (Sidebar I love that Teairra refers to all the women in a house together as Bad Girls Club because that’s exactly what I imagine it as.)

During this conversation, Brooke finds the time to encourage Moneice to attend Teairra’s press release. This is another moment where the thought that Brooke might actually be a good person crossed my mind. Jaywill arrives with ten minutes left in the event to and complain to Moneice about his L.A. Pride audition. He’s right to feel upset, but I don’t think he should ask La’Britney, to not perform because he didn’t get put on the lineup. If they are really friends, it’s a selfish thing for Jaywill to ask, and Moneice is just encouraging toxic behavior. Especially since she drops the rumor that La’Britney may or may not have had relations with A1. Let’s hold onto this nugget because it’s going to come back.

Teairra Mari’s press conference was really hard to watch. It’s clear that she’s really rattled by this entire scandal. I’m so glad that she’s fighting back against this abuse to show scorned men they can’t get away with this. The most infuriating aspect of this scene was cutting to the other LHHH stars who were watching the press conference from the sidelines. Paris and Nikki seem like fair-weather friends. I’m confused as to what Nikki contributes to the show other than being fickle. There doesn’t seem to be anything real about her, even her story lines are not her own. Meanwhile, K. Michelle is comparing Teairra to Mimi. Does she know that minding her business is free? K. Michelle could have easily just had no comment, but instead she attempts to cast doubt on Teairra. She then takes it a step further and decides to get dinner with Akbar. If allegations could really undermine a man’s entire career, why have I seen Akbar three times in this episode? This man gets more coverage for his wrongdoing than when he was just a regular guy with a harem. If K. Michelle doesn’t put herself in foolery as she claims, he shouldn’t have met with Akbar in the first place. Seems like everyone in this episode is showing their true colors…

Teairra, Brooke, and Moniece pop up on Nikki’s brunch to confront her about not being at the the press conference. Nikki has 18 different excuses — her parents were in the hospital, she doesn’t want Akbar to sue her, Teairra was being selfish. These all seem suspect, but Teairra forgives her because she has a big heart. I can not relate to this. If my friends abandoned me like this, I would hold a grudge until we were in our Golden Girls era. But, to each their own.

This next scene, I don’t care about. Jaywill confronts La’Britney about the Pride organizers comparing him to her. This is wrong, but it has nothing to do with La’Britney. Jaywill tells her there is no comparison between him and her. I’d describe this comment as lighting the match. La’Britney tells him he sounds bitter. I’d describe this comment as pouring the gasoline. And then, Jaywill sex shames in words I won’t repeat. I’d describe this as setting the entire rehearsal studio ablaze. Watching Jaywill fight with La’Britney over a event that’s supposed to be about being proud of who you are, makes me sad. I liked Kandi and the way he challenged masculinity. However, it’s apparent, Jaywill suffers from the same misogyny as the rest of the cast.

Okay, let’s talk about this studio session. RoccStar should have never gotten in the studio with Moniece in the first place if his description of her voice is “not horrible.” This man has credits, why doesn’t he just work with people whose art he enjoys? Ahh, that would be asking too much from a man that can’t mention a woman in his confessional without confirming whether he’s slept with her. Of course, Brooke comes to the session and makes it about herself. She invited herself to the session in the first place. When Moneice defensively says that Brooke should take the record, she’s trying to tell her friend that she’s self-conscious. It’s not hard to read between the lines people!!! But Brooke may be emotionally illiterate. How dare Brooke compares Moneice to Amber Diamond, when Moneice is responsible for the America’s Next Top Model theme song of yore. This is almost as disrespectful as making fun of her friend who’s having a panic attack and then jumping on her friend’s record with RoccStar as an ambulance escorts that friend away. Hmm, sounds like Brooke is a bad person. She’s still not great hair though!

Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood Recap: Bad Kid, WORSE City