death and taxes

Shakira’s Hips Don’t Lie, But Her Accountants Might

Shakira. Photo: NOAM GALAI/Getty Images

Shakira has been charged with tax evasion in Spain. According to The Independent, the singer may owe more than $16 million in back taxes. From 2012 to 2014, Shakira spent most of her time in Spain with her partner, soccer player Gerard Piqué. But she listed her residence as a private island in the Bahamas, which she purchased in 2011. In related news, Shakira owns a fucking island. Perhaps she bought it in order to house gene splicing experiments and create a real life She Wolf: half woman, half wolf. But probably it was because the tax rate in the Bahamas is way lower than that in Spain. Shakira’s alleged tax sheltering was discovered in the 2017’s Paradise Papers. A representative has denied all wrongdoing, and is accusing the Spanish government of using her to scare other taxpayers. Which feels unnecessary when they could have just printed out the lyrics to “Objection (Tango).”

Shakira’s Hips Don’t Lie, But Her Accountants Might