Fun yuletide drinking game for this SNL sketch: Take a shot of spiked eggnog every time you’re subjected to a quintessential Hallmark holiday-movie trope, and take an extra shot if you think our heroine is just going to call it a day with this trio of white boys and marry the concept of Christmas instead. She does not have to dry-kiss anyone in the Hallmark Gazebo Suite today! “I live in stock footage of New York City that still has the Twin Towers in it,” she helpfully explains. “I have to write a big article for the paper about how Santa isn’t real.” Always remember: The true reason for Christmas is husband, and if Christmas is canceled, the killer will always go free.
Protect Scarlett Johansson From the Hallmark Gazebo Suite at All Costs
