extremely online

Matt Damon Doesn’t Get Barbie vs. Oppenheimer

Matt Damon. Photo: Heidi Gutman/ABC via Getty Images

There are a few kinds of online film stans — those who will see Barbie on July 21, and those who will see Oppenheimer that same day instead. There are also those who will treat themselves to a double feature, and those are the only people Matt Damon understands. “This is the first I’m hearing about it, actually,” he said in response to Vanity Fair asking him about the rivalry that emerged on social media when it became clear that both films would drop on the same day. “People are allowed to go see two movies in a weekend. Oppenheimer is one of them!” What Damon doesn’t understand about stan culture is that chronically online obsessives are not guided by reason — they are guided by the animal desire to dominate those they perceive as a threat to their fave. Nothing would please a stan more than to know their fave “ended” the competition by topping the box office, or earned any kind of critical acclaim, or won a real or made-up award. If Damon were to make a Twitter and share his kumbaya, let’s-enjoy-things-normally/in-equal-measure feelings, he’d get ratioed instantly. There’s no fun in having sense! People camp in Pop Crave replies for a reason.

Matt Damon Doesn’t Get Barbie vs. Oppenheimer