The thing about Captain Sandy? She knows how to time an exit. A mere 90 minutes before the charter, she calls Alissa to the bridge and formally fires her.
Alissa’s reaction to the whole situation must be beyond validating for Captain Sandy. No apologies, no last words, she just barely musters up a “thank you” and walks out. She tells her colleagues that she got fired for “literally nothing.” Whatever helps you sleep at night. Get this disrespectful diva out of here! This is the one time I’ll feel bad for Ross, who has been assigned to escort her off the boat. As Alissa packs up her things, she claims that Captain Sandy is running a dictatorship. Ross simply stands by in silence because, honestly, what else can you do?
In her confessional, Alissa likens herself to a scapegoat, maintaining that she’s the only person who “had the balls” to speak up and defend the interior besides Fraser. She says since it’s impossible for Captain Sandy to replace Fraser (false), she had to go after the next best thing (Alissa). Again, whatever helps you sleep at night.
Captain Sandy calls a team meeting and says that it’s imperative that everyone onboard respect the hierarchy. Fraser pulls Captain Sandy aside to let her know he respects her decision entirely and will work his ass off to be the best chief stew he can be. This does wonders. Captain Sandy praises him, telling him she admires his ability to compose himself and that she believes he’ll deliver on his promises. For a people pleaser like Fraser, this is everything. I doubt he’ll make a single mistake from here on out.
Ben is like a kid on Christmas morning. He runs to tell Camille the good news, and it seems like the two have plans to go to the Dominican Republic together? Good for them.
There’s no more time to spare talking about Alissa because pageant ladies (and man) are officially coming aboard, and they require full attention, especially Laquish. After Rachel does her due diligence and goes over the lunch menu with the group, Laquish starts screaming for a turkey club. Rachel pauses lunch to prepare the sandwich, which Laquish never even touches — infuriating, to say the least. She pulls the same shit later that night, insisting on a midnight snack. She wants her sandwich wrapped up, placed in her room, and accompanied by a Sprite. Annoying but understandable. But that’s not all. She also has a special request for tomorrow’s dinner: a steak wrapped in 24k gold. Tasteless and tacky, but sure. Fast-forward to bedtime, and Laquish emerges to sleep on the couch instead of in her bed. She claims her bedroom is too creepy, so Tyler makes up the couch for her with spare sheets. And this is only the beginning.
The next day, the guests want a beach Olympics. Unfortunately, the wind is off the charters, and the only available beach is the hideous coastline littered with trash that we visited a few charters prior. Fraser delivers the bad news, insisting they’d all be miserable with the one tenable option. He is absolutely right with this recommendation. Instead, the crew puts on an onboard Olympics. Fraser delegates this task to Ross because the interior needs time to tackle the guest cabins, which are filthy and sodden. And God bless — Captain Sandy, who has stepped in to help with turndown service, backs Fraser up. For what it’s worth, Hayley compares these guests to “that creature in Sesame Street that lives in a bin.”
The Olympics go well enough. Katie and the primary guest win; Ross ogles at Katie in her lime-green bikini, the usual. While cleaning, Fraser and Hayley discuss how calm this charter has gone because of Alissa’s absence. They decide that Captain Sandy is an oracle and crew whisperer, and I agree.
But this cabin cleanup isn’t enough: These guests need even more towels. Laquish needs one in particular to wash her Hello Kitty. While the guests go up for dinner, Hayley and Tyler are down below, cleaning and talking shit about how messy they are. Classic co-worker chatter … until a guest named Susan walks in on them. To be fair, they’re talking shit about Laquish, not Susan, but still. This isn’t a good look. Luckily, Susan doesn’t really seem to register what’s going on, and I think this pair is safe from retribution.
A sweet moment from this charter: John, the sole man on this charter, performs a drag show for his friends. Tyler watches in utter admiration and says he feels inspired by John’s ability to be himself, especially after everything he’s gone through. Someone call Kelsey McKinney because I have her next Normal Gossip episode: John reveals that he was previously married to a woman and they have a daughter … but one day, his wife came home and confessed that the baby wasn’t his. She had an affair with someone else! So they divorced, and he found himself, and now he’s here.
Last but certainly not least, Captain Lee is finally coming back. He calls up Captain Sandy to report the good news: He has discussed it with his doctor and plans to return to the Caribbean in a couple of days. Captain Sandy wants to keep this information mum until he’s officially back, as you never know what will happen with flights, but the whole thing is very much giving Nanny McPhee. At this point, I’m just waiting for Captain Sandy to disappear into the night sky, saying, “When you need me but do not want me, then I must stay. When you want me but no longer need me, then I have to go.”
