I like to believe that the RHOA gods bestowed a gift upon us right in time for this week’s episode. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed watching that clip from Kandi’s chitlin-circuit musical A Mother’s Love go viral as the BBL ritual song. Raise your hand if “LEGS AND HIPS AND BODY BODY BODY” is constantly playing on a loop in your head. As always, the internet has divine timing, since the ladies and their men head to New York City tonight to watch Kandi’s musical.
First and foremost, I would like to take this time to admit that I initially wrote off Thoughts of a Colored Man as another random Kandi Burruss venture. Not to knock Kandi, because I know that OLG and her sex-toy line are successful businesses, but sometimes she reminds me of my Sims who have completed their original aspirations and are now doing random ones for fun. I finally Googled the production, and it turns out it is the first Broadway play to be written and directed by Black men with a Black man in the lead role. It explores Blackness in America through the story of seven men all living in the same Brooklyn neighborhood. Kudos to Kandi for being a part of bringing this project to the stage! And since Thoughts of a Colored Man is about the Black male experience in America, it makes sense that the men are joining in on the trip. I love seeing the cast outside of their environment and interacting with each other as a group.
Kandi, never skipping a promotional moment, uses the trip as an opportunity to market her Bedroom Kandi sex toys. Look, I tried to stand up for Kandi last week, but I was slightly taken aback by the invitations for the trip being delivered by a half-naked couple handing out “mandatory” vibrating panties. I usually don’t agree with Kenya, but a Playbill would’ve been more appropriate. I hate that it adds fuel to the fire in terms of painting Kandi as a freak, with Marlo going so far as to say she needs therapy (I don’t think Kandi intended for the women to walk around the city vibrating in sync with each other), but I appreciate that she leans into the stereotype. I personally would like consent before a man and woman in leather bondage show up at my door with sex toys, but this is why I don’t live in Atlanta.
The trip starts smoothly enough, with the couples swapping freaky sex stories for a chance at the best room. We learn that Sanya and Aaron are a part of the mile-high club and Drew and Ralph (gag) had sex in the ocean with whales. Kenya gives us a slightly disturbing story about trails of coyote blood and intercourse in caves, winning the room and successfully weirding us all out.
The group then gets ready to visit Todd’s New Jersey condo. I feel like this condo story line is being pushed on us. Maybe because I don’t know what it feels like to have rich people’s problems (someone hire me, please), but like, just keep it or sell it, who cares. The condo seems more like a vehicle for exposing the cracks in Kandi and Todd’s relationship. Now that the couple have been together for eight years, we’re starting to see how their dynamic can cause tension. Since Todd started dating Kandi, there have been conversations about where he fits in regarding her success and wealth. Again, as a Black woman hustling to keep up with rising grocery and rent prices, Todd’s ego and Kandi’s pockets aren’t intriguing story lines in my book.
What is an intriguing story line is Shereé and Drew’s assistant. Finally, Sanya said what we’re all thinking: “If you have an assistant who is being messy with one of your friends, that might mean that you’re equally as messy.” Instead of cutting him off, Drew put assistant Anthony on “probation” after finding out last week that he told Shereé that Ralph is gay. This brings me to another bone I have to pick with the Atlanta ladies regarding sexuality: Enough is enough when it comes to the homophobia. While the cast members have always spoken about the impact “the gays” have on the show, that doesn’t stop the accusations and homophobic remarks from flying. Friends like Dwight, Derek, and Miss Lawrence have been instrumental in the success of the show. The women love appropriating gay vernacular and parading their gay friends to events, but when it comes down to it, they never miss a moment to remind us that gayness is not acceptable when it isn’t convenient to them.
This is not unique to RHOA; all the cities are guilty of it to some degree, but it comes up nearly every season on Atlanta in a way that exposes the cast members’ biases. In the early seasons, a lot of the “shade” that was thrown was in the form of transphobic remarks. When Kim had a rendezvous with a female DJ, the commentary was ignorant at best. Marlo’s first season as a friend will forever be tainted by the usage of a homophobic slur. During the season-eight reunion, Andy addressed the women about this behavior, since the rumors about then-Housewife Kim Fields’s husband’s sexuality were a hot topic. It was hard to watch, to say the least, but it showed that historically, there’s been a glaring problem with homophobia on the show that the women refuse to work on.
For the most part, the issue has been boiled down to a problem within the Black community as a whole, something that isn’t exclusive to one circle of friends. But I’m tired of that cop-out. It’s 2022 and we all need to be held accountable for our actions, especially the ones that support harmful ideologies. Especially when the show profits from queer culture and has an extensive queer fan base. When Drew flipped out last week saying not to talk about her husband in “that” light, we all know that was coded language. Now that Shereé brings the rumor to Ralph’s attention at dinner in New York, once again we see how on this show, and too often in the world, homosexuality is demonized and used as a way to humiliate men.
Unfortunately, Ralph reminds me of the type of straight Black men who thrive on toxic masculinity, so even though we won’t see his full reaction to the rumor until next week, I’d bet money that it’s not going to go down well. Before Shereé brings up the gay rumor, the spotlight was on Drew and Ralph’s relationship. Drew and Ralph are obviously already in a rocky place, and they’re currently doing a challenge assigned by their therapist where they cannot verbally attack each other for 30 days. Honestly, at that point, break up! Somebody call Randy Kessler.
I hope that Ralph understands being compared to Marc Daly is rock bottom. The producers playing back scenes of Marc acting like a dick toward Kenya was a great reminder to never trust a light-skinned man with a nose stud. I’m tired of Drew and Ralph, truly, but hearing other people’s perspectives on the two is refreshing, and Marlo said it best: What you allow is what will continue. Amen.
Peach Tea To-Go
• Marlo is building a new home for her and her nephews, and I can’t get over the fact that her closet space is 300 square feet larger than her bedroom. This is the type of living that I appreciate and strive for. The scene with her contractor is interesting because it shows Marlo’s insecurity about where her money comes from; in one breath, money is what she’s “known” for, but in another breath, she blames the ladies for always bringing up her pockets. Pick a lane.
• I see how Kandi feels weird about the condo because Todd shared it with an ex, but after seeing the space, I think after a renovation it will be a great property to add to their portfolio. Kenya needs a spinoff of her renovating people’s homes and I nominate Gizelle from Potomac as her first client. Please help her.
• One of my favorite things on Housewives is seeing a newbie switch alliances shortly after being brought on the show. Sanya is aligning herself with Shereé in this assistant drama and is rightfully calling out Drew’s messiness. I prefer this to the slightly played-out “should we have another child” story line.
• I’m curious as to why Shereé and Marlo didn’t get a special visit from Kandi’s half-naked employees. I found out that the two are cast members of Kandi and the Gang, which I didn’t know because I have avoided watching due to my irrational dislike for Don Juan. He really didn’t do anything specific but he gets under my skin whenever I see his face. Sorry, Don Juan!
