This really isn't a surprise.
Yup, just as stupid as you'd imagined.
Trump capriciously chooses between Marlee Matlin and John Rich, and Tom has a lot to get off his chest.
It's hard to get worked up about a final task that involves Dee Snider.
His constant weeping is touching in a way, but then tips over into insanity, especially when he recites an ode to Trump.
"The gulf between Donald Trump’s faux-populist bullying and the iron will it takes to actually run the country has never seemed so massive."
Teams are forced to shill for Trump himself for two hours, and none do it well.
"I know that Busey suffered drastic head trauma after his horrible motorcycle accident and he’s not all there, but he is also a dick."
She responds to budget constrictions by basically saying, “Daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa! I want you to get me an Oompa Loompa right away!”
When Phil Rizzuto said “we got a real pressure cooker going here” in “Paradise by the Dashboard Light," he was talking about the empty overheating cauldron socked squarely between Meat Loaf’s ears.
Only one woman is brave enough to stand up to the evil way-to–San Jose–knower.
You were not drafted to be on this show, Dionne. The Dell Dude would’ve filled your seat with an enthusiasm that would’ve made our hearts sing!
The Celebrity Apprentice Recap: As Players Put On a Kids Show, Tom Scharpling Fears for the Children
Unless I have fallen asleep and this is some sort of dream I’m trapped in, things have gone waaaay off course at some point.
Mentally ill fish. In a big glass barrel designed expressly for mentally ill fish. With a gun filled with mentally-ill-fish-killing bullets.
La Toya Jackson, Star Jones, Gary Busey, and Richard Hatch are just some of the contenders.
"Can I use a landline?"
One of them is related to Michael Jackson.
Everyone lives under a bus.
In spite of (because of?) his health problems, the former Poison front man and 'Rock of Love' lothario becomes the next 'Celebrity Apprentice.'
Get better soon, Bret.
Don't turn his boardroom into a locker room!
No way Trump fires him after that.
You don't even have to watch the show, you just have to know how the Donald's mind works.
The former governor of Illinois proclaims his innocence, becomes a waiter, and dons a chef's hat.
Simon, Gail, Janice, and TV's other most judgmental people...in the best possible way.