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Way Too Close Reads

  1. where’s the beef?
    Everyone Megan Thee Stallion Gave Their 24 Hours of AttentionInvestigation: Who got bit in “Hiss”?
    By Tirhakah Love
  2. way too close reads
    Harry Styles Enters His 1989 Era One Last TimeDecoding all the likely Haylor references on Taylor Swift’s “Is It Over Now.”
    By Alejandra Gularte
  3. escándalo
    Bad Bunny Dedicates Album to His True Love, MessiAnd to his messy relationships (with Kendall Jenner and Gabriela Berlingeri, probably).
    By Zoe Guy
  4. close reads
    Netflix’s Falling for Christmas Is a Dante’s Inferno-esque AllegoryIt’s the only reading of the film and its title that makes any sense.
    By Rachel Handler
  5. his loss
    All the Shots Drake Takes on Her LossFrom Megan Thee Stallion to Serena Williams to Ye.
    By Justin Curto
  6. lethal lyrics
    Megan Thee Stallion’s Traumazine Bars Humiliate Her HatersThee most savage lyrics from her sophomore album.
    By Zoe Guy
  7. way too close reads
    Harry’s House Is a (Sexy) Shrine to Olivia Wilde“You pop when we get intimate” isn’t as self-explanatory as you may think.
    By Zoe Guy
  8. way too close reads
    The Batman Predicts Our Grim Future: an Incels-vs.-Furries Civil WarIf you can piece together the clues, The Batman is an accurate predictor of 21st-century America’s worst-case scenario.
    By Rebecca Alter
  9. way too close reads
    What Does Camila Cabello’s Familia Tell Us About Her Breakup With Shawn Mendes?She said the album is completely true — which is practically an invitation to dive into the lyrics.
    By Justin Curto
  10. way too close reads
    The Mitskiest Laurel Hell Lyrics“It’s why I’ve arrived, your sex god.”
    By Ashley Shannon Wu
  11. (nothing is) off the table
    Is the Weeknd’s ‘I Heard You’re Married’ About Mrs. Ariana Grande?And while we’re at it, how does Angelina Jolie fit into his Dawn FM narrative?
    By Justin Curto
  12. way too close reads
    A Line Reading of That Terrible Eulogy From And Just Like ThatOr, “How come it sounds like Connor Roy’s speech for Uncle Mo?”
    By Zoe Haylock
  13. way too close reads
    All the Best Advice From Adele’s 30It’s like Chicken Soup for the Soul but for millennials.
    By Natalie Lin
  14. way too close reads
    Zendaya Is in Dune for 7 Minutes. Here’s Everything She DoesIn this house, we stan Chani.
    By Zoe Haylock
  15. chemical castration
    What Can We Glean From Succession’s Season-3 Credits Sequence?ATN News has some new hate to promote.
    By Jackson McHenry
  16. scary
    Adele’s ‘Easy On Me’ Is a Song About Her PoltergeistMany people, including Adele, are saying that her new song, “Easy On Me,” is about her divorce. Unfortunately, it is about a vengeful demon.
    By Rachel Handler
  17. way too close reads
    All the Solar Power Lyrics That’ll Make You Go ‘Oh, Lord(e)’Blink three times and feel the Solar Power lyrics kicking in.
    By Savannah Salazar
  18. way too close reads
    All the Olivia Rodrigo Lyrics From Sour You Could’ve Used in High School“Screw you.”
    By Zoe Haylock
  19. not a kesha song
    Just How Bad Are the Lyrics to Mick Jagger and Dave Grohl’s ‘Eazy Sleazy’?Are they eazy to listen to, or do they just make us feel sleazy?
    By Justin Curto
  20. vulture guides
    Wait, What Are Taylor Swift’s Fearless Songs About Again?Get in Swifties, we’re going back to 2008.
    By Erin Browne
  21. way too close reads
    9 Revelations From Demi Lovato’s Heartbreaking New AlbumFrom mistreatment by ex-managers to manipulation by ex-fiancés.
    By Zoe Haylock
  22. way too close reads
    So, What the Hell Folk Tales Is Taylor Swift Telling Now on evermore?Finally, girls with long, creepy braids and sweet crushes on their best friends are getting the representation they deserve.
    By Jill Gutowitz
  23. way too close reads
    Thank You, Taylor Swift, for Making My Sad Yuletide Gay(er)With “dorothea,” Swift revives the same narrative device she employed on “betty.”
    By Madison Malone Kircher
  24. way too close reads
    What Is Every Song on Taylor Swift’s Folklore Actually About?A lowercase girl album, like a lowercase girl, signifies ambivalence, nonchalance, and unfortunately, a Trojan horse of emotional terrorism.
    By Jill Gutowitz
  25. way too close reads
    Taylor Swift’s ‘betty’ Is Queer Canon. I Don’t Make the Rules.Longing. Unrequited love. Skateboards. Gender bending. Rumors. A harmonica! Everything about this song screams queer.
    By Madison Malone Kircher
  26. way too close reads
    The 10 Drakest Drake Lyrics on Dark Lane Demo Tapes“How you goin’ vegan but still beefin’ with me again?”
    By Zoe Haylock
  27. way too close reads
    5 Emo Jay-Z Lyrics From Jay Electronica’s A Written TestimonyIt doesn’t seem like Jay-Z’s in a great place, but, let’s be real, who is?
    By Zoe Haylock
  28. easter eggs
    Every Easter Egg in Taylor Swift’s ‘The Man’ Music VideoPrepare to Harriet the Spy the crap out of this thing.
    By Madison Malone Kircher
  29. way too close reads
    Is Selena Gomez’s New Album Rare About Justin Bieber or the Weeknd?An overdramatic lyric analysis.
    By Zoe Haylock
  30. way too close reads
    Everything We Know About Shamila, Based on Camila Cabello’s RomanceHow did they go from friends to lovers?
    By Zoe Haylock
  31. way too close reads
    Let’s Speculate Wildly About the Meaning of Taylor Swift’s Lover Song TitlesWho is the “False God”?
    By Jordan Crucchiola
  32. easter eggs
    Every Easter Egg in Taylor Swift’s ‘You Need to Calm Down’ Music VideoMore fodder for the Kaylor truthers awaits.
    By Jill Gutowitz
  33. way too close reads
    Who, Exactly, Is Taylor Swift Telling to Calm Down? An Investigation.Donald Trump? Kim Kardashian? Literally anyone???
    By Jill Gutowitz
  34. easter eggs
    Here’s Every Easter Egg in Taylor Swift’s New Music Video ‘ME!’Did you spot the Dixie Chicks? Or that extremely British nod to Joe Alywn? And, obviously, the snake?
    By Jill Gutowitz
  35. way too close reads
    Okay, So Now What Is Taylor Swift’s Giant Butterfly Mural Supposed to Mean?Kaylor truthers, your vindication may have come.
    By Jill Gutowitz
  36. way too close reads
    What the Hell Do All These Taylor Swift Clues Mean? An InvestigationLet us guide you down her pastel-aesthetic rabbit hole of insanity.
    By Jill Gutowitz
  37. breaking up is hard to do
    Everything We Know About the Weeknd and Selena Gomez From His New AlbumHe almost gave her a kidney!
    By Dee Lockett
  38. way too close reads
    Praise Bey-sus, Beyoncé and Jay-Z Are Touring Together AgainShe’s still in love with you, boy.
    By Dee Lockett
  39. way too close reads
    The 14 Shadiest Things Taylor Swift Says on ReputationAnd who we think might be her victims.
    By Dee Lockett
  40. way too close reads
    Every Question You Have About Taylor Swift’s New Song ‘Gorgeous,’ AnsweredIt’s about that guy from Billy Lynn.
    By Dee Lockett
  41. way too close reads
    A Close Read of That Bonkers Harvey Weinstein Statement“I am going to need a place to channel that anger so I’ve decided that I am going to give the NRA my full attention.”
    By Nate Jones
  42. So, Which Lines on Taylor Swift’s New Song Are Meant for Kanye?She’s just reignited her oldest beef.
    By Dee Lockett
  43. way too close reads
    The Most Lana Del Rey Things Lana Del Rey Says on Lust for LifeCharles Manson, John and Yoko, and more get shout-outs.
    By Dee Lockett
  44. way too close reads
    Owl City Has Quite the Explanation for That Weird ‘Fireflies’ LyricBill Nye would shed a tear.
    By Dee Lockett
  45. way too close reads
    So, Which Songs on Harry Styles’s Album Are About Taylor Swift?Let’s speculate wildly.
    By Dee Lockett
  46. way too close reads
    Milo Ventimiglia’s Body Is This Is Us’s Biggest AnachronismCould a 1980s father really be that swole?
    By Jackson McHenry
  47. way too close reads
    What Stranger Things Is Missing From the ’80s Horror Genre Everything difficult about the original works.
    By Sean T. Collins
  48. way too close reads
    Why Mr. Robot’s Film References Are Subtler Than You ThinkIt’s one of the most pop-culture-fluent series on TV. 
    By Matt Zoller Seitz
  49. way too close reads
    Let’s Examine Carrie’s Crazy Homeland NotebookCarrie is not a good speller.
    By Lindsey Weber and Margaret Lyons