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Because actual spelling bees aren't quite stressful enough, ABC Family's Spell-Mageddon (every other spelling-related pun was apparently taken) will hit their lineup later this summer. Perhaps inspired by Oh Sit! (CW's musical-chair obstacle course) or Killer Karoke (truTV's karaoke obstacle course), this spelling bee includes "hilarious distractions" while contestants also work at correctly spelling challenging words. How about S-H-A-M-E-L-E-S-S?
The 2012–13 television season officially passed into the Nielsen history books last night, bringing to an end what will likely be remembered as one of the worst years ever in the history of network TV (assuming, of course, that anyone still remembers what "television" is in 50 years). There were hardly any new breakout hits (though The Following, Revolution, and Elementary did okay). And, as has been widely reported, the Big Four as a whole bled viewers: They collectively lost about 10 percent of their adults-under-50 audience this season, with none of the major broadcasters growing year to year in the key demo. But as bad as things look on the macro level, the devastation is even more evident — and jaw-dropping — when you dig into the numbers for all the returning shows.
See how more than 50 shows declined by double digits in a very jarring chart.
It's hard to keep up with all the porn-parody versions of TV shows, but every so often one catches our eye. This Ain't Girls XXX, an extra-raunchy version of HBO's Girls, is one such film. "I tried to make it as weird as possible," award-winning porn star Richie Calhoun tells industry site Xbiz. "I tried to say really weird things and do really weird positions." Calhoun plays the Adam character, obviously.
It’s a shame that finale was so uneventful, huh?
Seriously, the first seven minutes were so action-packed, I actually laughed when the Nashville opening credits popped up on the screen. They could’ve ended the show right there, right when Maddie showed up at Deacon’s doorstep saying, “I think that you might be my father” and I would’ve said, “Now THAT was a satisfying finale.” But we were just seven minutes in, people. Seven minutes in. (Oh, before we go any further, can I rectify an omission from last week’s recap? How did I not mention that the last thing Dante heard before getting shot was, “Give me the SD card.” Literally, the least gangster way someone can be taken out. But I digress.)
For a split second, it seemed like our season four finale was going to be … serious? Phil’s mother, Gracie, whom we never had the pleasure of meeting, has died. Even small doses of Fred Willard’s Frank Dunphy have explained so much about why Phil is the pun-addicted, trampoline-loving, Clive Bixby–creating, irretrievably goofy man he is; it’s a shame we’ll never see the maternal side of this mystery unveiled.
So yes, grandma has died, but the tragedy is more of a setup for vacation high jinks than it is any kind of grim episode-dominator. ModFam’s three households are all convening in Florida to be together with grandpa and Phil. As this journey begins, it’s very important to Alex you don’t forget she shared a very special connection with her grandmother. More so than, say, Luke, or Haley.
It looks like CBS wasn't quite done with its pickups last week. The network announced today that its 2013–14 lineup will also include Bad Teacher, a single-camera comedy adaptation of the 2011 Cameron Diaz movie about a former trophy wife who, for some cockamamie reason, pretends to be a teacher. The show stars Ari Graynor in the Diaz role, and the pilot also included Ryan Hanson, Sara Gilbert, and Kristin Davis. No word on when in the season it will air, or in what time slot, but it's basically begging to be paired with 2 Broke Girls.
FX has ordered a comedy pilot starring Billy Crystal, the network announced today. The Comedians, based on a Swedish show of the same name, is about a veteran comic (Crystal) who gets paired up with an edgier young upstart (yet uncast!) for a late-night show. Comedy vet Larry Charles is onboard to direct the episode, which will shoot this summer, and also to serve as a writer and executive producer. This is Crystal's first TV show since Soap, believe it or not, and Soap ended in 1981.
Billions of jokes large and small pack the original run of Arrested Development, many of which you can imagine being birthed in a late-night writers-room spitballing session. But some of these gags and story lines seem so random and specific that we sensed there was a fascinatingly weird origin story to them beyond “It was 2 a.m. and we were picking at a pizza …” Indeed, when we called Arrested Development creator Mitch Hurwitz to ask about the gestation of some of our favorite jokes, the stories behind them made them all funnier. So read on for his tales of the inspiration behind the Cornballer, Tobias’s dalliance with the Blue Man Group, Carl Weathers’s cheapness, and more.
"The phrase I wanted to play with is, ‘That’s a little cornball.’"
American Horror Story has cast Emma Roberts in the upcoming witch-centric, New Orleans–set third season. According to TVLine, Roberts — whose Fox pilot didn't get picked up — will play a "self-involved party girl." She joins AHS returning cast members Taissa Farmiga, Evan Peters, Sarah Paulson, Lily Rabe, Francis Conroy, and Jessica Lange, as well as fellow new members of the fold Gabourey Sidibe, Kathy Bates, Angela Basset, and Patti Lupone. AHS: Coven doesn't start up until October, but baffling horrors and disfiguring surprises surround us at all times.
Originally, the new episodes of Arrested Development were conceived as something of a "Choose Your Own Adventure" series for fans: Creator Mitch Hurwitz said we’d be able to watch the new episodes on Netflix any which way we pleased and in any order. Then, last week, after he wrapped the final mix on all fifteen new episodes, he said, scratch that, never mind, please watch sequentially! And, before the shows go live Sunday at 12:01 a.m., PST, he’s intent on making sure everyone knows he has redacted his earlier strategy. “I’m really doing everything I can to put out that misconception that it can be watched in any order,” Hurwitz told Vulture during an interview Tuesday. “Although I really did have that ambition at one point.”
The Hollywood Reporter reports that Hannibal Buress has signed a large, multi-platform development deal with Comedy Central. Development deals aren't new for the stand-up and former SNL/30 Rock writer, as he's had one with ABC and Fox over the last couple of years; however, this is by far the most all-encompassing. The deal includes a recurring role on the upcoming series Broad City, an hour-long stand-up special, a national tour, and an unscripted pilot. Buress is easily one of the two or three most buzzed-about up-and-coming stand-ups; he's just waiting for the right platform to truly break through. Good news is, with how it's going, it appears Hannibal will likely be available as a name for his show.
My God. This was the most disappointing episode of television I have ever seen. Kris Thomas over the Swon Brothers! It was like Jo/Shakira telling Laurie/Carson Daly she had to go to New York to marry some old professor that sucks. I can’t believe you, America! Frankly my dear, I do not give a damn about you. Except I do.
Blake and Miranda Lambert, “Over You”
This was an extremely touching tribute. Miranda Lambert has such an emotional voice, and I was incredibly moved by her performance. Blake provided sensitive backup as well. It was a little hard to adjust to the competitiveness of the rest of the show afterward.
Shakira’s voice is so awesome. Sometimes, I forget it is so effing unique.
There's a very real chance the next American Idol will be judged by a panel of former American Idols. As Fox and the production companies behind the struggling (yet still high-rated) singing show ponder changes for the 2014 edition, two people with knowledge of the situation tell Vulture that serious consideration is being given to the idea of filling one, and very possibly all, of the slots on the show's judging panel with former Idol contestants. These sources say Jennifer Hudson and Kelly Clarkson have already been approached about the idea, and that the names of Adam Lambert and Clay Aiken are also under discussion. (Alas, Justin Guarini does not seem to be on the short list.)
Scheduling has always been a major roadblock for more Arrested Development, what with the careers of much of the cast taking off after the show. We knew shooting the new season demanded some flexibility, but it's crazy to what extent. Mitch Hurwitz, talking to Rolling Stone, explained just how pasted together shooting was:
"We ended up with an eight-hour movie of Arrested Development where the pieces do kind of come together. Not only was the show told out of sequence, it was shot out of sequence. Half of the stuff is on green screen. There are scenes where there are two characters talking to each other. On one side, it's Jason Bateman in July, and on the other side it's Portia in November. It was these crazy, crazy things where everybody had to say, 'Wait, she hasn't gone to that party, so she wouldn't have that makeup on, therefore...'
While Ricky Gervais's Derek isn't quite a Netflix original — it debuted in the U.K. earlier this year — the comedy will count Netflix as its exclusive American home beginning Sept. 12. The seven-episode series will total three-and-a-half hours for Gervais fans to binge-watch/cringe-watch. The Office creator's latest work revolves around an ambiguously "different" man working at a nursing home. The series has received a bit of criticism, which Gervais has battled by asserting that "the risk in my work is being missed."
Astoria's Museum of the Moving Image is adding a Jim Henson gallery set to feature almost 400 pieces of Muppet-abilia. "It’s only fitting that this extraordinary collection of puppets, costumes, props, and more should find a home in New York, where imagination and free expression are part of the fabric of our city, and where anyone who’s watched an episode of Sesame Street sees the inspiration provided by the vibrant neighborhoods and characters that make our city so extraordinary," Mayor Michael Bloomberg said. The new gallery will launch in winter 2014-2015. The museum recently hosted the Jim Henson's Fantastic World exhibit.
Michael Douglas couldn’t speak. Seated on the dais at a Cannes press conference for Behind the Candelabra, he looked at his creative collaborators — including co-star Matt Damon, director Steven Soderbergh, and producer Jerry Weintraub — and suddenly went silent in the middle of his sentence. When he began speaking again, emotion choked the actor’s voice. “Sorry,” he said tentatively, tears in his eyes. “It was right after my cancer that this beautiful gift [of a movie] was handed to me. I’m eternally grateful.”
Damon on his bare, Brazilian-tanned butt, and is Soderbergh qualifying his retirement?
No matter the year it was made, the actors it starred, or the size of screen it was filmed for, every era of Star Trek includes a variation of the same scene: The ship is in trouble. Enemy lasers or unfriendly space terrain threatens the exterior. And inside the crew careens around the bridge, smashing into walls, falling over desks, and stumbling to the floor like Jenga blocks. And of course, the camera shakes. In the early days, the Star Trek Shake was dialed to eleven, with the Enterprise crew and creative camera operators doing all the work. Over time a gimbal and special effects came along to make the shake look a little less silly. Still, it's persisted in spirit and remains an indelible part of all Star Treks. (Though the latest entry in the series, Star Trek Into Darkness, features a moment where seat belts appear out of the bridge chairs — a completely logical addition.) Here is a GIF time line of the evolution of the Star Trek bridge shake.
Seitz Asks: What’s your favorite Drug Interlude episode?
Seitz Answers: “Hash,” Barney Miller
The Mad Men episode “The Crash” was the latest in a subgenre of TV episodes that I call the Drug Interlude. The premise is simple: Take characters whose behaviors are well established, put them under the influence of a powerful substance, and watch suppressed parts of their personalities bubble to the surface, sparking hijinks, tearful confessions, declarations of once-secret infatuations, and so forth.
It’s a shame that season finale was so uneventful, huh?
For a split second, it seemed like our season four finale was going to be … serious?
What an upset!
We're down to the top ten, everyone.
What the hell was that?
The Best Mad Men Recap Reader Comments: ‘The Crash’
By Lauren DucaMatt Zoller Seitz called this week’s episode of Mad Men “a bunch of half-formed ideas,” an hour of television best described with the neologism “what-the-fuck-ness.” Many readers sassily disagreed and most added some analysis of their own. We’re celebrating an epic comment section once again this week; here’s what you thought of “The Crash.”
You analyzed the triumphant return of skinny Betty...