We traveled out to Franklin Lakes for a manicure with two of our favorites.
The final reunion episode is a cornucopia of dicks, disses and delights.
Entré Rosie and Juicy Joe.
In which Teresa Gorga is burned in effigy.
Plus the most TMI-laden thing that Richie's ever said about Kathy.
The mystery of "what life's all about" according to Teresa Guidice is answered.
Caroline's patience for Tre and (our patience for this show) wanes drastically.
Hey! We got a mood ring and a Wiffeball bat for you.
Albert and Caroline play "hide the sausage" by actually hiding sausage.
In which the colloquialism "it ain't over until the fat lady sings" causes Lauren to sing.
"I make hot sauces, I sing sometimes, and I put on high pumps."
Smells like 'roids, Drakkar Noir, and desperation.
One therapist's dark night of the soul.
In which Juicy Joe's stint in therapy at age 11 is revealed.
Is it just us, or is the whole Tre-tabloid-as-fight-catalyst thing getting old?
Featuring K-Y Touch and a box of Monarch butterflies.
The upcoming gay nuptials seem to be serving up a hot plate of tolerance to everyone in Franklin Lakes.
On this episode, titled "Spoiled Sports," everyone's a ... yeah, you get it.
If we were using Friends titles, this would be "The One Where They Wear Bindis and Screech at Each Other."
What could possibly be in that yellow diet liquid?
Drape your dress off one shoulder because season four of The Real Housewives of New Jersey is here.
It takes a while, but we finally realize why he's been targeting Teresa so baldly.
And Andy Cohen gets in his own punches.
The family is immortalized just as 'Fabulicious!' poises to tear them apart.
Though we have to endure the conclusion of the inane Punta Cana adventures first.
Now they can all scream and get bug-eyed in monokinis.
Young Gia's agonizing musical plea for family peace would make even the bravest soul gouge out his own eardrums.
Why can't they all just get along? Well, because that would eliminate the show's reason for being.
It's harder to look at these people's self-inflicted financial stresses without quivering in frustration.
Ashley is not taking the "grow up" talk lying down.
"Gimme pizza, you old troll."
Christmas morning was never so bedazzled.
The Yuletide fighting continues as Kim G. is ousted as Joe Giudice simmers to a boil.
In New Jersey, Christmas is a time for gaudiness, screaming, and grudges old and new.
Among our gifts: Joe Gorga in a sparkly onesie, and the return of Kim G.!
The Giudices have everyone over for a weekend of live ammo and dry-humping.
What motivated the massively insulting use of the word "redone"? An explanation doesn't make things any clearer.
Who knew Melissa had such "musical" "talent"?
Teresa attempts to write a letter of conciliation to Joe, who is distracted by his own pimple analogy.
Kathy's accusations bring out Teresa's table-flipping eyes.
What brought on Joe's double-fisted game of Whac-a-Mole?
The finale concludes with an insincere reconciliation with Danielle that Caroline's not buying.
Andy Cohen makes sure that no grudge goes un-aired.
The season ends with an "epic" confrontation between Danielle and Caroline. Neither one comes off very well.
The ladies are off to Venice, where Teresa goes into a sick spending frenzy. Again.
Baby Audriana is christened, and Joe nearly implodes from the stress of spending money he doesn't have.
Destitution be damned, Teresa wants her tenth anniversary to be special.
Teresa looks at her possible future, but remains in denial.
Danielle and Teresa go at it on the lawn.
This week's setting for everyone fighting with Danielle? A fashion show.
One of Danielle's implants has gone wrong, and so have the Housewives' kids.
Out with Dina Manzo, in with a new crazy.
When the Housewives go out of their way to tell Danielle they don't want to be her friend, tears are inevitable. As are arguments.
Danielle stages a public showdown with the Manzos at a benefit.
No one is safe from these Housewives, not even infants with cancer.
The other women's obsession with Danielle is sapping the energy they need to be crazy on their own.
While Caroline's kids can't stop throwing luncheon meat, Danielle plans her daughter's supermodel career.
The ladies are back, all still happily obsessed with the prostitution whoo-ah.
Thoughts raised by watching Andy Cohen toss questions at two criminals from The Real Housewives of New Jersey.
"Based on my knowledge, the mob looks at these TV shows as a mockery of what they do."
"Redone home." "Redone"? What kind of an animal would write such a thing!
More than one, that's for sure.
Everyone finally starts to turn against Teresa and her moody husband, and Danielle struggles to stay relevant.
The table-flipping and deeply indebted 'Real' housewife logs a hard day's work.