Tyrades!: ‘America’s Next Top Model’ Culls Banks’ Greatest Hits

“I am so smart! S-A-M-R-T!”Courtesy of the CW

Don’t have time to go to business school? That’s okay. Tyra’s here, baby, and every week she’ll share nuggets of wisdom about how to succeed in your career, as well as in that game we call life.

Last night, America’s Next Top Model producers graced us with a clip show. Mmmmm, rehash … But in addition to previously unaired footage of the girls’ medical woes — curling iron burns! frostbite! tooth extraction without anesthesia! — they also offered a Tyra’s Greatest Hits of sorts. And now, some advice from the judges’ table:

When it comes to playing the skank, never give a half-assed performance.
“It’s like, ‘I think I’m a ho?’” — Tyra critiques good girl Samantha’s inability to strike a bad-girl pose.

Fierceness is an exact science.
“You just did it. You just went arr! instead of rah!” — Tyra teaches Cassandra her patented supermodel snarl.

Don’t let personality get in the way of the brand.
“What you look like to me is an anarchist making fun of a Cover Girl.” — Tyra realizes that Jael’s punk-rock image might not sell eye shadow.

But the best lesson of all was best captured when Natasha delivered a perfectly metered imitation of Mama Tyra during an acting lesson. The pale-skinned Ruskie model boiled Banks’s inspirational message down to a single line.
“You know how many black sisters at home are thinking, She’s beautiful. It means I’m beautiful too.” — Lindsey Thomas

Tyrades!: ‘America’s Next Top Model’ Culls Banks’ Greatest Hits