the water cooler

‘Pirates’ Rakes in the Doubloons

Courtesy of Buena Vista Pictures

Yes, yes, yes, so Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End made a big pile of cash this past weekend, scoring the largest Memorial Day weekend opening ever. (Though many are already proclaiming the $153 million domestic box office so far a disappointment. We’d like to be that disappointed!)

While we’re still planning our trip to the theater, where we’ll press the PIRACY button all evening long, we thought we’d see what the virtual water cooler has to say about America’s biggest movie. Avast! Spoilers ahead!

Commenter Xenu on Defamer hated it: “Was I the only one who suspected that, if the camera panned just three inches further to the left on any given shot during At World’s End, one would have seen the writers furiously scribbling away on the next thirty seconds’ worth of action?” [Defamer]

But commenter Slater on CHUD defends it:

te>Loved it. Then again, Dead Man’s Chest was my favorite movie of last year.

I love the batshit insanity of a goddess made of crabs, or trying to flip your vessel upside-down at sunset in order to escape from Hell. I love the sheer amount of double-crosses and plot twists they throw at the audience, the fact that these films never let you turn your brain off. I love the moments of pure visual poetry, from Beckett’s ship disintigrating [sic] around him to the Pearl slipping through a field of stars. I love that in an age of passive, perfunctory blockbusters, these movies are busting their asses trying to be funny and romantic and thrilling and imaginative all at the same time, and I’m amazed how often they succeed. Basically, I’m a big homo for Gore Verbinski.

I understand why so many people don’t like these movies, but honestly, I think you’re all fucking insane. [CHUD]

Feminist SF complains about Elizabeth’s fate: “Disney makes a point of marrying Elizabeth and Will (during a sword fight in which they worked together, which I did find cute) before they finally do it and have lots of hot sex on the beach. Although she certainly is capable of rescuing herself these days, Elizabeth is again the virtuous English bride in a legitimate, monogamous relationship. The alternative sexuality she explores in Dead Man’s Chest was passing.” [Feminist SF]

The Beat is annoyed, too, and tracks down details that the movie’s ending is actually meant to show that Jack’s curse has been broken, but was too clumsily made to make that clear: “From this you can see how rushed and desperate the filmmakers were — they had to leave the culmination of the story on the cutting room floor.” [The Beat/PW]

And Ain’t It Cool News commenter blindambition238 boils it all down: “Chow-Yun Fat was wasted which is a sin against cool.” [Ain’t It Cool News]

Earlier: Movie-Theater Chain Introduces Wireless Complain-o-Matic

‘Pirates’ Rakes in the Doubloons