the weekend read

‘Stop the Presses: Fat Alcoholic Once Attempted Moustache’

Every Friday Vulture finds a great story that’s a little too long to read on the computer screen. Fiction, long-form narrative journalism, epic blog sagas — any of these could be your Weekend Read. Print it out on the office printer, smuggle it home, and curl up with it after brunch.

“You know Molly Donaldson? He told her he was a Notary Public and a licensed massage therapist just to get her to have a drink with him. But he got her too drunk, and they both passed out on the bench over there.”

“Wait a second,” I said. “First, I didn’t get too drunk — that was my plan to pass out next to her. Second, you’re supposed to lie to women. If you count lying on dates, then every man in here’s a liar ten times over.”

“That wasn’t a date,” Pops said. “You just got her drunk.”

“All right then,” I said, “but if that’s not a date, then I’ve never been on a date in my life.”

This week’s Weekend Read is “Kid in a Well,” a hilarious short story of barroom tall tales by Willie Davis. Zadie Smith chose the story as the winner of the 2007 Willesden Herald short-story prize. And if the story’s good enough for Zadie Smith, isn’t it good enough for you?

Kid in a Well [The Guardian]

‘Stop the Presses: Fat Alcoholic Once Attempted Moustache’