Ten Things We Learned From Watching The Office Last Night:
1. Creepy, creepy Creed teaches us a new term, “hanging brain,” and reveals that he can only do “number twos” in the women’s restroom. Proof that “hanging brain” isn’t a euphemism for being smart.
2. Michael and Jan have a safe word — foliage — that signals when someone (Michael) is uncomfortable with what they’re doing in bed. Jan usually pretends not to hear the safe word. We pretend not to fantasize about that image.
3. Michael doesn’t know what “misogynist” means. Hopes of him becoming a feminist crit professor are dashed.
4. The women’s restroom at Dunder-Mifflin has a cozy couch and a selection of women’s magazines. Um … do they really all have that? All we get is the same old Wall Street Journal someone left in the last stall.
5. Frosty Angela can only fit into a kids size 10 and buys many of her dresses from the American Girl store. She’s partial to the Colonial-era American Girls, just like Felicity and Elizabeth.
6. Pam is thankful that her ex-fiancé Roy never caught Jim hanging some brain on Pam. Not that Jim would do such a thing, or that Pam would ever fantasize about it.
7. Andy is not as dumb as we thought. He’s one of the first to notice that Pam’s pencil sketch of Phyllis’s flasher looks an awful lot like Dwight.
8. How’s Kelly and Ryan’s “relationship” going? Ask Kelly: “Awesome! Um, awful, I mean. But, uh, sometimes awesome!”
9. Michael, unimpressed by Jan’s breasts, says she suffers from “shrunken chesticles.” Between “chesticles” and “hanging brain,” we suspect this episode written in the Delta Lam common room.
10. Dwight wishes he could menstruate. Foliage! Foliage!