the week in reality

Tori Spelling, Trailer-Park Girl

Spelling and McDermottPhoto: Getty Images

What’s happening in the land of reality TV.

• Donna Martin has finally graduated — to reality TV. Tori Spelling and her house husband, Dean McDermott, welcomed the first guests to their chic bed-and-breakfast, but after overbooking all the rooms, the Inn Love pair was forced to hand over their own bedroom to guests and take refuge in a trailer. You can take the girl out of Beverly Hills, but you can’t … wait … we think the Beverly Hills just got taken out of the girl. Tori, what would your father think?

• Fashion was on the Charm School syllabus this week, and the ladies were challenged to design, create, and model a couture outfit. For the losing team, this meant draping a curtain around a model and gluing feathers to her eyebrows and toenails. Though not runway-worthy, this outfit was the classiest ever worn on the show. In the end, Jennifer got axed for her disastrous design, but never fear, you can catch the artist formerly known as Toasteee in her soon-to-be-released amateur porn flick. Charming!

• WE’s Adventures in Doggie Daycare spent 30 minutes focusing on something you learn after just a few minutes at the dog run: Puggles be crazy. Yup, the most popular dog in the West Village combines the worst qualities of pugs and beagles to form one yappy, stubborn, hyper dog. But don’t despair, parents, your $2,000 investment is still totally adorable!

• Thinking about a career in reality TV? Visit and reconsider. Laguna Beach queen bee Kristin Cavallari has moved from the small screen to the computer screen, with a set of short Webisodes documenting her adventures in eye surgery. Will she fire up a Laguna-style love triangle between herself, the doctor, and nurse? Or will her career be, like, so dunzo?

Real Worlder Colie is more than just a horny serial-dating sorority sister — she’s a really horny serial-dating sorority sister. After “not vibing” with her crunchy Colorado boy toy Adam, Colie got it on with roommate Alex, who proceeded to tell the other roommates about her Monica Lewinsky–esque skills. Our needy nymph retaliated like any good insecure mess, bringing home a different guy for another night of oral action. If this promiscuous partner-hopping is the “real world,” we’re moving in.

• Last week, Evangelin won the Shear Genius elimination challenge by creating a hairdo with a set of hedge clippers. This week she held on to them like a good-luck charm, hacking away at an unsuspecting model’s locks until the judges stepped in and sent her back home to the beauty salon she came from. We’re hoping she’s not licensed for bikini-line grooming. —Kate Spencer

Tori Spelling, Trailer-Park Girl