In Which We Fail to Pose With Cardboard Cutouts of Simon LeBon

On Monday night, Duran Duran devotees were invited to attend a hyped-up “private loft party” hosted by the onetime chart-toppers to get a sneak peek of their forthcoming album, due out in October. Aging pop stars? Free booze? Count us in!

We happily traipsed to the edge of Manhattan. We waited on line for a solid twenty minutes — “everyone on this list is a VIP!” shouted the waiflike publicists. We rode a Tower of Terror–worthy freight elevator to Duran Duran’s private loft.

We did not see Duran Duran play. If they did unveil songs off their “hotly anticipated” new record, and we’re pretty sure they didn’t, we would not have been able to hear it above the clamorous din and the high-decibel delivery of dubious masterpieces like “Love Generation.” We did, however, see cardboard cutouts of Simon, Nick, John, and Roger, and a professional photographer on hand to take pictures of screaming fans posing with the faux band members. A few luckier fans were able to take pictures with real band members during the fleeting moments that Simon and Nick roamed the crowd, surrounded, of course, by big scary bodyguards.

The pinnacle of the night? Lead singer Simon LeBon’s lip-syncing and waving at the (fading) crowd. That, and the free vodka. Naturally, the booze ran out 40 minutes early — as did most of the guests. —Miriam M. Datskovsky