the early-evening news

Breaking: Keith Richards Can Read

Photo: Getty Images

Richards, From the Lance Bass School of Damage Control: Upset over a Swedish newspaper’s negative review of a recent Rolling Stones live show, Keith Richards has released a statement: “You have a duty to wield the power of the press with honesty and integrity… Write the truth.” Okay, Keith: You’re ugly too. Also, what was Keith Richards doing reading a newspaper? [The Local]

Pete Doherty to Play Living Dead? Buffy the Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon is working on a show for the BBC about the undead and thinks Pete Doherty would make a good zombie. Hmm. We don’t see it. [NME]

Fall Out Boy and Ashlee Simpson Collaborate: Pete Wentz’s band (Fall Out Boy) and girlfriend (Ashlee Simpson) are reportedly recording a song together. It will be terrible. [NME]

Amy Winehouse Goes on Vacation: Crackheads Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil have brought their marital problems — and crack too, presumably — to the Caribbean, where they’ll be missing Winehouse’s scheduled appearance at next week’s VMAs in Las Vegas. [Jezebel]

Saw IV Now Suitable for Children: Commercial prospects for the upcoming fourth installment of the Saw series looked bleak after the MPAA gave an initial version of the film an NC-17 rating. But it’s been recut and will now carry an R rating. So bring the kids! [/Film]

Breaking: Keith Richards Can Read