the early-evening news

Chuck Norris Sent to Iraq — Mission Accomplished!

September 18, 2007: C-Day.StillPhoto/SUNSHINE/Retna (Norris), iStockphoto (flag)

Freedom Now Officially on the March: Karate champion Chuck Norris is on the ground in Iraq visiting fifteen military bases and likely killing terrorists with his bare hands along the way. According to Chuck “the surge is working … It is so much safer and more relaxed, particularly in the Al Anbar province,” he says. “It is so much better than often conveyed by the liberal media.” Oh, snap! [WorldNetDaily]

Sex Pistols Reunite: The Sex Pistols have announced plans to reform for a London gig in celebration of the 30th anniversary of Never Mind the Bollocks and the two-week anniversary of when they realized they could make a lot of money by reuniting. [Variety]

Indiana Jones Plot Details Leaked: A Russian dancer appearing in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has apparently broken his nondisclosure agreement and given a semi-lengthy interview on the film’s plot, confirming that Indiana Jones 4 will indeed be a musical. [AICN]

Hung Jury in Spector Murder Trial? Jurors in the murder trial for legendary producer Phil Spector’s are apparently deadlocked. Some think he’s innocent while others have found him guilty — of having a beautiful head of hair. [NBC]

Lorelei Gilmore to NBC: Lauren Graham has signed a seven-figure development deal with NBC, ensuring that the Gilmore Girl’s next series, whatever it is, will run on the Peacock. “After having spent so many years representing the frog on the WB, I am especially comforted to be part of the only other network with an animal mascot,” Graham tells Variety. “Also, Ben Silverman is a brave and dedicated public servant.” [Variety]

Chuck Norris Sent to Iraq — Mission Accomplished!