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Kiss’ Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley Promote Rock-and-Roll Lifestyle, Dental Hygiene

Simmons and StanleyAndrew Marks / Retna

If you plan on rocking and rolling into your old age, it’s important to take good care of your teeth — which is exactly why Kiss’ Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley were at the Hard Rock Cafe on Wednesday to promote their hugely successful line of Kiss Tooth Tunes toothbrushes (they play “Rock & Roll All Night” as they help you prevent gingivitis) along with the new Power Tour Electric Guitars, toy axes that let kids play along to their favorite Kiss tunes. “We get approached by people with a lot of ideas, some good and some not so good,” said Stanley. “Kiss has been around so long that we have transcended being a rock band.” Vulture sat down with the rock legends to talk about … well, pretty much whatever the hell they wanted.

Gene, you were at a Kanye West show the other night … Why?
Simmons: Uhhh, chicks. I don’t know how to tell you this, but you don’t actually believe that we ever overcome this, do you?

Both of you are CEOS and rock stars. What’s the secret to being successful at both?
Simmons: And good-looking!

Stanley: Only a fool would be a rock star without protecting the hard work they
have done and reaping the rewards. The person that says they’re only in it for the music is in for a sad awakening when they are working at a hamburger stand asking if they want fries. For us it becomes common sense if money is being generated, it should rightfully go into our pockets. We try to maximize everything we do. We’re proud to be rich and make no apologies.
Simmons: Hey, aren’t you sick and tired of dumb rock stars? I mean, it’s like going back to the hotel and you go to his room and you’re like, “Oh my God, finally!” Then he turns out to be dumb as rock. I mean, it’s like us taking a girl with big tits back to our hotel. If she can’t converse, then … Wait — never mind! That is fine!

Well, I’ve never gone back to a hotel room with a rock star.
Simmons: Yes, you have! I saw you at the Black Crowes concert! I saw you with
Chris what’s-his-name.

Yom Kippur begins Friday night. Will you be atoning for anything this year?
Simmons: You know, in all seriousness, I think we’ve done pretty good. I think God is smiling down on us.

So you won’t be fasting?
Stanley: It’s obvious that we don’t. [Pats his stomach]
—Shira Levine

Kiss’ Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley Promote Rock-and-Roll Lifestyle, Dental Hygiene