Kid Nation contestants running, hopefully from a bear or lion.Courtesy of CBS
If you’re a regular Vulture reader, you’ll probably know by now that no television show on the fall schedule has us more excited than CBS’s Kid Nation, the awesomest, most child-abusingest reality program ever conceived — only KN forces children, ages 8 to 15, to survive on their own in the New Mexican desert without adult supervision. Despite a legion of complainers upset about a few on-set mishaps (one little rascal burned her face while operating a stove, a few others accidentally drank some bleach), the show looks set to debut, as planned, on September 19. CBS is so sure it’ll be a hit (as are we) that they’ve already put out an open casting call for a second season, posting a questionnaire on their official Website for any prospective contestants. It looks pretty standard (“What do you want to be when you grow up and why?,” “Name 3 of your favorite hobbies,” etc.), but if Nation going to be anywhere near as great as we hope, there are some questions we’d like these kids to answer:
1. Apropos of nothing, what’s the longest you’ve ever survived alone in the desert without food or water?
2. Have you ever heard of the Geneva Conventions?
3. Do your parents have a lawyer? If so, is he/she any good?
4. Are you comfortable dressing your own wounds? Performing emergency amputations?
5. Have you ever played with matches? Sure looks like fun, doesn’t it?
6. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your ability to free yourself from a bear trap?
7. Besides your mom and dad, who else would notice if you suddenly went missing?
8. What is the maximum temperature your face can withstand?
9. True or false: I can outrun a lion.
10. Can you tell the difference between bleach and chocolate milk? No? Great!
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