New Britney Spears Album Pretty Much What We Expected

Britney Spears, Blackout

Official Release Date: October 30

We think: It’s great! Just kidding! But is there really any reason it couldn’t have been? It’s not like she wrote any of her original hits anyway, so all she really had to do was turn up to the studio when Pharrell told her to. She didn’t, though, so we’re left with a bunch of awkward, mostly hookless sex jams produced by Danja (a Timbaland protégé who’s apparently no Timbaland). It’s not terrible (except for “Sin City Rap,” on which she, well, “raps”), but there’s nothing here that might resuscitate a career or even sound good on an iPod shuffle.