‘Kid Nation’: All the Girls Hate You!

Spoiler alert: One of these two is the show’s new hero.Photo: Courtesy of CBS

Highlights from the heartwarming sixth episode give us hope for the next generation. “Bonanza Is Disgusting” begins normally enough, with the now-deposed Taylor screeching when her democratically elected council replacement, Zach, wakes up his district by ringing a bell. “All the girls hate you. Shave your unibrow!” she screams at Zach, who draws his hand to his forehead in shock. “She’s humiliated and embarrassed,” Laurel explains, allowing Zach a quick recovery — he smiles and yells “I win!” Later, though — after the official theme and pointless challenge have been established! — things turn heart-wrenching.

The Theme That Parallels a Real-World Issue!
The Pioneer Journal reveals that it’s the trash accumulating in Bonanza (i.e., the environment)! The council considers blowing the trash up with gunpowder, then has a good laugh over the idea of forcing Taylor to haul it out of town to bury it.

Which leads us to the real theme: Taylor’s aggression and laziness, and the responses those things inspire in the only twelve kids they ever show us. Taylor refuses to do the work assigned to her, earning comments like “that is one spoiled brat,” and throws a tantrum that involves kicking Anjay because he stands in the way of her escape from work.

The Pointless Challenge!
Host Jonathan Karsh supervises the first actually interesting challenge: The kids have to fish around for colored cans in a huge tank full of baked beans and … live pigs! Frustrated, Greg dives headfirst into the beans; Karsh yells, “Greg, what have you done?” The reward is either fresh vegetables or dune buggies. They chose the vegetables. Of course.

Town Hall Meeting!
D.K. from Illinois, a kid we’ve seen relatively little of, emerges as this week’s hero. He comforts Guylan, whose town-council crown wears heavy, and brings everyone together when the town water tank needs to be filled. Naturally, the council agrees unanimously that the gold star — worth, let us not forget, $20,000! — should go to this generous young man “I wanna see the look on D.K.’s face,” says Guylan, smiling wistfully as the other council members nod. “I wanna see if it makes him cry!”

But: When Karsh asks if anyone wants to go home, D.K. drops a bomb and says he wants to be with his family. Faced with the prospect of losing their “older brother” (and possibly because of their own homesickness), the children all begin to cry, even Taylor. Guylan takes D.K. outside and tells him that the town needs him. D.K. returns to the meeting, filled with sobbing children, and announces that, “You are some of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met in my entire life, and I’m gonna stay for you.” The room erupts in cheers, and the council awards the star to a shocked D.K. Naturally, he gives an emotional speech about how the award means his six siblings might be able to go to college (state college, presumably).

Next week: The kids learn that “money changes everything” — and so do scary bats! —Lindsay Robertson

‘Kid Nation’: All the Girls Hate You!