‘Kid Nation’: Viva la Revolución!

Deal with this: Zach.Photo: Courtesy of CBS

Remember how, in the first episode, the four kids chosen by the show to be the town council took a helicopter while the other children were forced to ride a dusty bus? Little did those chosen four know that they would serve at the pleasure of the 34 other kids. Maybe forcing them to read holy books and use a frontier “microwave” instead of playing mini-golf and eating pizza weren’t such hot ideas. The “frontier diary” says it’s time to hold elections, and naturally, we’re eager for Taylor’s reaction: Would the little girl who spent the past fourteen days sleeping in and screaming her trademark catchphrase “Deal with it!” into the faces of her (often-tearful) fellow pioneers finally recognize her own hubris?

Of course not! She looks as haughty as ever. After a brief food fight in which Anjay and Olivia cement their roles as the Sam and Diane of the root-beer saloon, the council members announce Bonanza City’s impending democratization to a cheering crowd — then give speeches about “trying harder” before (gulp) asking if anyone from their districts wants to oppose them. Mike is shocked as Guylan (who addressed him as “sir” from the very first day), a long-haired home-schooled hippie kid, rises to the challenge. Smug Olivia throws her hat in against Anjay, proving once and for all that in every childhood election, it’s the more popular kid who reminds the others that it’s “not a popularity contest.” Finally, Zach paces the boards with his carefully prepared anti-Taylor speech: “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m getting tired of ‘deal with it.’”

This Week’s Pointless Challenge!
The kids break piñatas and put pictures of the presidents in order. This week’s Big Reward Choice: grilled burgers, ribs, chicken, and hot dogs … or toothbrushes, floss, and mouthwash. (The kids have been cleaning their teeth with chunks of baking soda.) Will the do-gooder council recognize their own preachy hubris and choose the cookout?

Of course not! “Kill a chicken!” Taylor yells, in response to cries for meat. As the Nation barrels toward the election, Taylor squeals to a menschlike Zach that she’s going to “wee-yun!” (as minions braid her hair ) and prepares posters with her “motto,” which, in an example of genius counterintuitive branding, is none other than “Deal with it!” All hell kind of breaks loose: Protesters rip down the posters; a small girl freaks out and is comforted by older dude Greg, who’s clearly intent on a gold star.

Town Hall Meeting!
Greg, of course, wins the gold star, crying as he explains that it means he’ll be able to go to college. And then it’s time to count the votes.

Laurel is perfect so she goes unchallenged.

Mike versus Guylan: Happy to see his name on the first card, Mike’s encouragement turns to horror as it’s revealed that his vote for himself was the only one he got: “My ego just got eaten, digested, and crapped out by a coyote, torn apart by vultures, and then tossed off a cliff.”

Anjay versus Olivia: It’s close, but Anjay keeps his seat. Unfortunately, he doesn’t gloat in Olivia’s stupid face.

Taylor versus Zach: Zach wins! Cheers echo through homes across America! “The reign of Taylor is over!” Zach puns, taking the stage as a tearful Taylor slinks down to the level of her former constituents. Like a pint-size Scarlett O’Hara, Taylor’s not letting this get her down: “It’s gonna be hard for me gettin’ used to sittin’ on the little benches instead of sittin’ on the high podium,” she muses, because everything has to be about her. Deal with it!

Next week: An “environmental crisis” hits Bonanza City! (Rats!) And Taylor apparently assaults Anjay. —Lindsay Robertson

‘Kid Nation’: Viva la Revolución!