Tagline: “Approximately seven hours ago something attacked the city. If you’re watching this, then you know more about it than I do.”
Translation: Everyone dies at the end.
The verdict: In the great tradition of films like The Blair Witch Project and United 93, whose endings we pretty much know before opening credits roll, Cloverfield will apparently be one of those movies that hinges on its ability to create suspense out of the obviously inevitable. After a devastating monster attack in New York, someone finds a camcorder — in the “area formerly known as ‘Central Park’” — that used to belong to main character Rob before he got eaten (or stepped on or bitten in half) by an ugly raptor-looking thingy. Manhattan gets destroyed, all the lead actors die, and the monster goes back to from where it came. So, really, how much you enjoy Cloverfield will probably wholly depend on how detestable we find the film’s characters. And since they all appear to be twentysomethings with the financial means to afford gigantic loft apartments in attractive Manhattan neighborhoods, we suspect it will be our favorite film of 2008.