We open with a shot of George and Izzie, sweaty, lying in bed, presumably after attempting to consummate their yucky affair. Says Meredith in voice-over: In terms of human chemistry, either you’ve got it … or you don’t. We guess we’re meant to assume that George and Izzie don’t. (Haven’t we been saying that for, like, years? Yes, we have.) But as always, it’s the patients and their illnesses that teach the life lessons here. So without further ado …
Izzie gets: A grouchy post-op plastic-surgery patient who keeps telling Izzie to go out and have some fun. Because the patient’s a huge pain, she’s put in a room with Gerry, a guy who can’t seem to “crap” (his word, not ours) and who’s also giving the doctors a hard time.
What it means: Izzie is not having any fun with George. They keep having terrible, awkward sex — George even chips his tooth at one point! Although that’s not surprising, given that Katherine Heigl’s head is twice the size of George’s entire body.
The outcome: The annoying patients get busy in their recovery room, bandages and all. Izzie sees that they have chemistry, but she and George, well, you know.
George gets: An 8-year-old who eats magnets to get his parents’ attention. Not smart, kid. Even Legos would’ve been preferable to magnets, which are ripping up his body with their, er, magnetism. The kid tells his parents that he wants them to get a divorce because they fight too much.
What it means: The kid’s mom confesses to George that she and her husband used to be happy, but life got in the way and now they’re miserable. But, she says, “It’s nothing a little effort can’t fix!”
The outcome: The boy’s operation goes well. George tries to put a little effort into his sex with Izzie, to no avail (see chipped tooth).
Meredith and Lexie get: A mother and her adopted baby, who both fell down the stairs. The mother’s brain is bruised, and her lungs keep collapsing; the baby is fine. The father threatens to give back the baby (to whom? The stork?) if the mom doesn’t survive.
What it means: Meredith has been hating on Lexie all episode. She cockblocks her and Alex and tells Lexie to get her own life. In other news, Lexie strips Meredith of her title as “most annoying person on the show.” Congrats, Lexie! We were rooting for you!
The outcome: The mom dies (sad!), and the dad decides to keep the baby after all. Meredith explains to the father that sometimes a family needs more than a couple of days to bond. She and Lexie sort of bond for a second.
News roundup: Christina’s continually dissed by Dr. Han, who thinks that she slept with Burke to advance her career (she didn’t!). Callie gets fired from her chief-resident position and is replaced by Miranda, who cries for joy when the Chief tells her. And we find out that Meredith and Lexie’s father has been acting like a big ol’ alcoholic since his wife died.
Next week: Some accident brings a bunch of high-school students to the ER. Bummer for them, especially the kid with the pencil in his eye. —Emma Rosenblum