‘Kid Nation’: The Drinking Game

Courtesy of CBS

CBS must have realized that all the Nielsen families were out trick-or-treating, because last night they chose to air the most boring episode of Kid Nation so far (and to reveal the completely anticlimactic “face burning” incident — it was Divad and she lived). The highlight had to be Sophia making fake vomit in a large pot and throwing ten buffalo nickels in the bottom to see if the other kids were desperate enough to stick their hands in to fish the money out. In a perfect metaphor for reality TV, they were. Also, Divad made campaign signs for the gold star, but lost out to newly seen home-schooled kid Nathan, who told his mother he could use the money for “college, boarding school, candy!

We’re halfway through the series, and it’s time for a Kid Nation drinking game. If you don’t drink, drink root beer out of shot glasses. That might be a good idea anyway, because this is going to get anyone good and drunk. Feel free to add your own ideas in the comments.

Take a drink every time:

Taylor says “Deal with it!”

A kid mentions George W. Bush in a positive light.

Someone uses a word that is above an eighth-grade vocabulary level.

Someone cries.

Anyone mentions the gold star. Or that it’s worth its weight in gold — literally.

A dramatic confrontation or disaster is resolved in two minutes.

Sophia sounds like someone you could actually hang out with now. (Two drinks if Sophia mentions “stupid people” in general.)

You see a kid who has yet to speak on the show. (Two drinks if that kid speaks.)

A kid who has been prominent on the show is not shown at all or barely shown (à la Taylor last night).

You see Lauren’s lip scab.

Or Greg’s chin scab.

Or Guylan with purple wine-drinker’s lips.

A kid mentions his or her family.

One of these words or phrases is used: Upper Class, Merchant Class, Cooking Class, Laborer, Class, Blue, Red, Green or Yellow, Latrine, Pioneer/s.

Olivia says something bitchy.

A kid drinks bleach (God, we hope they show this soon).

Zach cheers.

Jared says something weird and strange and awesome. (Two drinks if it’s while wearing a pimp costume like last night.)

Greg bullies.

Taylor screams.

Alex is shown being adorable.

Anyone hugs anyone else.

And take three drinks if a kid leaves.

Next week: The kids have a talent show. Blah blah blah OMG GREG WILL BE WEARING A DRESS:

Courtesy of CBS

—Lindsay Robertson

‘Kid Nation’: The Drinking Game