Taylor runs from the uglies.Photo:
Taylor the Terror is back, and this time the kids are getting revenge! Episode eleven begins with the announcement that chickens will be slaughtered. Taylor rushes to their defense but then agrees to a compromise: Greg and his carnivorous crew can only kill the chickens Taylor deems “ugly.” Because ugly animals cannot wear makeup to make them look prettier, she explains, killing them is permissible. “Ugly chickens deserve to die!” she screams, before calling upon inventors to fulfill the need for “animal makeup.”
Can we say something in Taylor’s defense? Yes, she’s a spoiled brat. Yes, we sort of wish she’d win the gold star and get to call her parents just so we can glimpse the monsters who raised her. But all the message-board chatter calling for child services? Please. Give the kid some credit: Taylor is a world-class media whore, reality television’s first true child prodigy. We’re not saying she won’t grow up to be Ann Coulter, but girl knows what she’s doing.
Anyway. The magic journal informs the council that one of the reasons Bonanza City failed was lack of education, so they start studying. Taylor, of course, refuses to participate, citing her hatred of books and love of recess, and Greg informs her that she will be excluded from the reward if the kids win one in the challenge.
And that challenge is a quiz on “Bonanza City history,” with a prize of either a library of books or a free arcade. Historically the council has chosen the more practical, unfun option, but not this time: They choose the arcade — and remind Taylor approximately every 45 seconds that everyone can play in the arcade except for her.
The arcade, of course, becomes an addiction (“It’s like a drug,” says Sophia). The kids start neglecting their chores, Sophia builds a boring library, and our minds wandered, musing on which kids are totally going to get married when they grow up (Greg and Migle!). Taylor does her work in exchange for arcade access, the council decides to padlock the arcade until the chores are done, and the industrious Hunter wins the gold star and vows to give it to his father, who lost his job a year ago. (Then he calls his parents, who have a really nice kitchen and don’t appear to be hurting.)
Next week: The smartest kid, Sophia, is left in charge of the entire town! But as far as we’re concerned, Taylor will still rule. —Lindsay Roberston