ABC executives must have a psychic on staff — not only did they know the writers were going to strike, they were also ready to savage them, hilariously choosing to air one of the most poorly written episodes in the show’s two-season history. Last night, we got plotlines with holes larger than Betty’s pores, and outfits so awful they’d make Helen Keller retch. These people are supposed to work at a fashion magazine! Still, this episode did have Posh and Vera Wang — and they booty-bumped! And we’ll admit, that nearly made us forget about all the fashion sins.
So, the crimes against fashion:
Shorts and thigh-highs belong in strip joints.
Oh, Amanda, we get that you’re Faye Summers’s daughter. And that you’re, well, a slut. But unless your office is Scores, there’s no reason for you to wear that nasty little outfit to work. Also, those thighs really aren’t made for it. No one’s are, unless you’re Kate Moss. If only the stylists were on strike this week. Sigh.
Shiny metallics are great at formal events.
Unless you’re a man. Come on, Marc! He was doing so well, but last night even his fat boyfriend looked better than him. Why couldn’t he be dressed in a nice, well-cut suit instead of a shiny silver one? We were waiting for the disco ball to drop. Brutal.
Posh looks good in everything.
This isn’t a crime. We’re just stating a fact. The woman really can pull anything off, including the pillowcase-like sack that Wilhelmina stuck her in.
Despite all this, there were some tiny bits of joy in last night’s episode — like Amanda singing Kelis’s “Milkshake” in church and Vera Wang saying, “Damn, I’m good.” But there’s really pretty much only one thing that could make us excited about Ugly Betty again, and that’s the possibility that the gorgeous, fabulous rumor that Lindsay Lohan might guest star on the show might actually come true. Come on, ABC, make that happen. Now! —Amina Akhtar
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