the take

How Will Oliver Stone’s Bush Biopic Offend Us?

Photo: Getty Images

Yesterday, we found out that, against all odds, Oliver Stone’s upcoming film on the life of George W. Bush is actually being funded — with money! QED is reportedly putting up $25 million for the biopic, which will star Josh Brolin as Bush and follow the president’s life from his days as a boozing derelict all the way through to his rational and strategic decision to invade Iraq in 2003, though the exact specifics of the script are being kept secret. We’re certainly curious about how it’ll turn out, particularly since we can’t imagine how Stone can possibly foster his customary controversy on this one — with Bush’s approval rating perpetually struggling to break 33 percent, is there anything left to be said about him that anyone could find offensive? (Besides the 33 percent of Americans who still do approve of his performance, since we’re pretty sure they don’t watch movies or the news anyway.)

What possible Bush conspiracy is there that hasn’t been theorized by crazy people on the Internet years ago? Everyone already knows Bush was complicit in the 9/11 attacks, that he stole the 2004 election, and that he’s secretly an alien reptile bent on enslaving humanity. There’s even this helpful George Bush Conspiracy Theory Generator, from which we just learned that he “made Rosie leave The View so that Rush Limbaugh, oil companies, the Jews could oppress welfare recipients.” (We KNEW it!) At this point, could even the craziest, tinfoil-hat-wearing-est crackpot accuse the president of something he’s not already been found guilty of by someone?

We hope so! Oliver Stone did — based on no apparent evidence — make Alexander the Great gay and implicate LBJ in the Kennedy assassination, so we’re pretty sure he’ll shock us with something. But what could it be? Will he impugn Bush’s sexuality? Cast Javier Bardem as Laura? Or will he really go for broke and make Bush the film’s hero? Man, we can’t wait to find out.

QED funding Stone’s ‘Bush’ film [Variety]

How Will Oliver Stone’s Bush Biopic Offend Us?